Das EFX - Dead Serious (April 7, 1992)

(Again, we have another review I wrote for Max’ Hip Hop Isn’t Dead. I expect to be posting more of those in the near future, and here you get to read the “blogger’s cut” of those posts, if you will. Once again, shoutouts to Max. Also, this Hit Squad run will only be concerned with albums executive-produced by EPMD.)

Remember when mainstream hip hop actually sounded good?

In the early 1990s, the G-Funk sound from the West Coast had the game, to quote Inspectah Deck, "in the Cobra Clutch". Its figurehead, Dr. Dre, had been storming the charts ever since his days with N.W.A. His Death Row Records brethren only furthered the aggressiveness of their takeover, basically snatching radio airplay from under New York's struggling noses. Well, not necessarily struggling: a few established acts, such as Public Enemy, were still selling well. But the new blood failed to make any sort of impact on the radio, and the old guard were fading from popularity.

As a counteractive measure, New York stuck to its roots, producing gritty hip hop albums with heavy emphasis on creativity, and they eventually gained some ground back within the mainstream in what was dubbed "The East Coast Renaissance". But which act spearheaded the movement back into the public eye?

Three acts come to mind: Naughty By Nature, Onyx and Das EFX.

Now the first two knew what they were doing when they crafted such well-known songs as "OPP", "Hip Hop Hooray", and "Slam". But ironically, Das EFX had absolutely no friggin' clue what they were doing, and they watched as their self-produced debut single, "They Want EFX", became a hit nationwide in 1992. But I know what the real question on your mind is: Who in the flying fuck are Das EFX?

They were one Teaneck, New Jersey native named Andre Weston, who was was an excellent plastic dishwasher under the name Krazy Drayz, and Brooklynite William Hines, who was the water boy for the local girls' junior high soccer team, who for some reason kept calling him 'Books In Reverse'. Which was pretty stupid from the fucking brats. But he cherished them oh so much that he went with Skoob as his rap name. Get it? Books? Skoob? Hardy har har. The duo named themselves Das EFX, with “Das” standing for “Drayz And Skoob” and “EFX” meaning, well, effects. I’ll let the fact that they almost named themselves Skoob And Drayz Effects sink in for a moment. Sad EFX. Yep.

Anyways, EPMD, high off the success of their third masterpiece Business As Usual, found these two shits in a no-name hip hop contest in Virginia that would award one hundred dollars to the winning act, just as Erick Sermon and Parish Smith were beginning to build up their powerhouse Hit Squad collective. As a result, they signed the pair to EastWest Records and executive-produced their entire debut, Dead Serious, which turned out to be a great fucking move, as the album sold a jillion copies and made Das EFX household names.

But is this a good album, or just another pile of crap?

This is Dead Serious.

MIC CHECKA
Enter the other headliners of the album: Solid Scheme, consisting of Chris Charity and Derek Lynch, were a production duo that Skoob knew from growing up in Brooklyn. “Mic Checka”, the second single from the album, fucking bangs due to a deft James Brown loop. Even with the ear-gouging loop that will be all that you remember from this song, the “iggedy” gimmick (that the duo calls, get this, "sewage") is in full effect from the very beginning. But contrary to what many think, the "sewage" style wasn't these guys' fundamental claim to fame, even if it was a major one: rather, it was the duo's attempt at covering every pop culture reference and nursery rhyme they can think of to create hilarious punchlines that very few rappers can conjure, such as Lord Finesse, Big L and their Hit Squad comrade Redman. The references to Slick Rick and “Bonita Applebum” were pretty good. More importantly though, Solid Scheme issued a remix with a prominent bassline that rips this version to shreds.

JUSSUMMEN
The hook here is a damn fine sample taken from Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick's iconic “La Di Da Di”. I believe Solid Scheme deserve a crisp pat on the back for successfully replicating the Jeep-rattling Funk that is EPMD’s forte for the beats heard so far here. And the punchlines keep on flooding, with the Plymouth Rock reference killing me every time. Bottom line, you will enjoy this gem. Pete Rock, remixer extraordinaire, commissioned a remix that's still revered to this day.

THEY WANT EFX
The lead single. Your grandmother knows this song by heart. Hell, Brian Austin Green knows this song by heart, if Beverly Hills 90210 is any indication. This was a very interesting choice, as it wasn't as refined as the other tracks on Dead Serious, but in turn, the lyrical choices are more haphazard, which adds to the entertainment value. The use of the KRS-One and Erick Sermon vocal samples work in the James Brown-centric instrumental's favour, which was surprisingly produced by Das EFX themselves. This is the first of many songs in their catalogue where they would sample the voice of one of their generous benefactors. Solid Scheme would remix this as well, with the result being very hard to find these days. Those who witnessed this tidal wave of a song will remember it vividly though.

LOOSEYS
This track surprised the fuck out of me the first time I heard it. Drayz and Skoob Effects weave one the funniest stories I have ever heard in hip hop. The fact that these two choose to tell a story describing how they literally shit in their pants, never mind writing a full song about it, is a fucking ballsy move: it takes fucking guts from a rapper to even attempt tackling such an embarrassing subject. And it pays off ingeniously: each rapper tells a story from his own perspective that ends up with them (spoiler alert!) shitting themselves by accident. The vivid detail that they use throughout the story only adds to the hilarity. The Special Ed sample was cut brilliantly over the Booker T/MGs loop by Solid Scheme in a way that sounds comical, as well. One of my favourite tracks on the album, and the absolute funniest.

DUM DUMS
Another storytelling rap, although this one is a misogynistic embarrassment. The Solid Scheme beat was the only good aspect of this ear-grating experience, looping a legendary Otis Redding performance while freaking a well-known Run-DMC sample.

EAST COAST
Usually I tend to favour Skoob in the punchline department, but on “East Coast”, Drayz rips his contribution to fucking shreds. Both his delivery and his punchlines are top class, leaving no room for Willie Hines to even attempt thinking about catching up. I friggin' loved the Peggy Bundy reference, since she really never did shit! The ESG UFO heavy beat is further proof that Solid Scheme were to Das EFX what the Beatminerz are to the Boot Camp Clik. Here, they continue the run of sampling Erick Sermon's lines, along with those of fellow Golden Era icons KRS-One and Rakim. This shit is funny to me since even after EPMD broke up and Das EFX sided with PMD, they still kept sampling Sermon's voice. Interesting. Overall, a fucking awesome track. Even better, Solid Scheme's remix of this track kicks its motherfucking ass!

IF ONLY
Solid Scheme step up their game by producing what is arguably the best beat of the entire album, basing an epic loop over a timeless Stanley Turrentine record. Their love for sampling "La Di Da Di" continues, as if Doug E. Fresh had never made another song. Drayz pronounce the duo's affiliation with the Hit Squad loud and clear. You know, just before the Squad broke the fuck up later that same year. Lyrics-wise, a pop culture nerd would have a field day: Drayz slightly edges out his partner once again with his Benjamin Franklin reference. Another highlight: "I figgety-funked up Sanford and his fucking Son".  Nice!

BROOKLYN TO T-NECK
Solid Scheme produce an odd-sounding mesh of a beat sampling James Brown, Instant Funk, The Bar-Kays & that UFO record once again, with the result not sounding as accessible as their previous work, yet is still serviceable. The production duo sample fellow Hit Squad cohort Redman's vocals from the awesome EPMD cut "Hardcore", along with some from the very underrated Chubb Rock, who would collaborate with Das EFX in the future. However, “Brooklyn To T-Neck” is where the duo show the first signs of lyrical fatigue, producing barely passable rhymes that don't compare to the rest of the album.

KLAP YA HANDZ
The very first completed Das EFX recording. With a simple Emotions loop, the beat, produced by some unknown named Dexx, is a much needed wind-down in comparison to Solid Scheme's work, mostly perfect for workout music. You get the feeling that Andre and Willie were lyrically testing the waters with an early precursor to their current style, throwing some random catchphrases together to see what stuck. Skoob sounds a bit more experienced than his partner here. Weirdly, this particular track is the song that the duo performed in front of EPMD, which prompted Parish to issue the funniest ultimatum ever: "Look, you want one hundred dollars or a record deal?" EPMD must have been serious contenders for best A&Rs of all time.

STRAIGHT OUT THE SEWER
Dead Serious ends with the final single, a booming Solid Scheme production that brilliantly samples Biz Markie over an addictive mesh of Carl Carlton and Parliament. The duo flop their first stanza with mediocre rhymes, but then they both come back with better contributions in their respective second verses. This was not bad at all. Still a better introduction to the duo than "They Want EFX".

FINAL THOUGHTS: OK, let's cut the bullshit. Most people, who feel confused by Das EFX's gimmick and feel it to be entirely unnecessary, will do well to steer clear from Dead Serious, as it's very much a love-it-or-hate-it album. However, those who love the style will find a truckload to enjoy here. The pop culture references overload the entire album, many times producing a hearty laughing session. Trust me on this. The only thing I would've liked to see more of is songs like "Looseys": there aren't many rappers that are willing to paint themselves in embarrassing situations, and these two did a fucking fantastic job with it.

WORTH IT? By all means. It can be found very easily, and it is a fucking certified classic. Then you, like the rest of the mainstream back in 1992, can annoy your parents by bouncing around their basement bellowing at the top of your lungs: "BUM STIGGEDY BUM STIGGEDY BUM!!!" No? That was just me then?

TRACKS TO TRACK DOWN:
HARD LIKE A CRIMINAL
So “Looseys” wasn't their only foray into storytelling. As I've since discovered, Das EFX released a b-side that didn't make the cut of Dead Serious. The absence of this song mystifies me, as this was the best Das EFX song in 1992, hands fucking down. This awesome Solid Scheme production, built over a weld of James Brown, Isley Brothers, Sly & the Family Stone and drums from Digital Underground, depicts the two as opposing sides of the young ghetto born-&-raised black male stereotype in the 1990s, with Drayz as the one who isn't "'bout dat life" while Skoob plays the role of the stereotype. “Hard Like A Criminal” is proof to me that Drayz is the primary storyteller of the duo, while Books is usually the one with the clever punchlines. The narrative depicted here is excellence executed, and there's even a surprise ending. Hell, the last verse by both MCs even received a quotable from then-relevant hip hop publication The Source, despite Drayz’ first verse being much more deserving. This was a joy for me to discover, and I am demanding you check it out for yourself.

For more on these Squadians, here. Otherwise, here for the overall family.

EPMD - Business As Usual (December 18, 1990)

Let's set the scene.

You're EPMD, right? You just released two back-to-back albums that have both achieved commercial successes and became highly influential setpieces that have revolutionized the very sound of the art form known as hip hop, right? You also just so happened to have acquired a deal with Atlantic Records, then-headed by creativity shovel Sylvia Rhone of all people, for an album by the debut member of your own legendary hip hop roster, thereby laying the foundation for a full-blown takeover of the hip hop industry, right? And you're doing all this from a small, hole-in-the-wall label called Sleeping Bag Records in the time space of three goddamn years, right? How do you make sure you turn this rapid progression into one for the long haul?

Fuck if I know.

Seriously, a mere two years after they debuted, Erick "Microphone Wrecka" Sermon and Parish "Microphone Doctor" Smith were blowing up, fast. And they did so without compromising one damn bit of their artistry. (Well, aside from You Had Too Much To Drink. Didn't think I'd remember that crap, did you?) Only one problem: They were ascending so fast that Sleeping Bag was no longer able to afford them. So being that they were managed by that steaming pile of living excrement Russell Simmons*, our duo were advised to jump ship to the house that the fuckwads built aka Def Jam. Now this leaves the protagonists in a conundrum: Do they take the plunge and risk looking like a couple of sellouts? Or do they wait for another opportunity that better suits their then-reputation?

The answer was that you're asking the wrong question, silly. Their name stands for Erick and Parish Making Dollars. Their mission statement from the jump was that they're going to milk this game for all it's worth. Difference between these two and the plethora of sellouts ever since is simply the fact that the core foundation of what hip hop stood for meant everything to them. Hell, even Rusty Sheriff Badge Russ couldn't pry creative control from them. There was simply too much money to be made with their formula yet.

And so began the crafting of EPMD's third opus and from the jump, you knew the pair was getting pretty ambitious with this one. First off, Business As Usual reflects a variety of subject matter new for the two rapper/producers, ranging from social commentary to the ever-present girl troubles. Second, the cover, by acclaimed comic book artist Bill Sienkiewicz himself, reflected an upscale of the highest order for our duo. Third, the album houses the very first guest appearance by a rapper outside their Hit Squad camp in the form of Chilly Jimmy himself, LL Cool J, in his debut guest feature, itself a subject of excitement, as well.

Oh, you thought I was done talking about the Hit Squad here? Never, baby. See, this very album houses the debut of the second Hit Squad member and future punchline immortal, Newark, NJ's own Reggie Noble aka DJ Kut Killa bka the mighty Redman. On two songs, nonetheless! If by some freak circumstance you haven't heard of this guy, he goes on to be a problem in hip hop history. Interesting thing is, son was just kicked out of his parents' home for dabbling in selling drugs and was primarily a DJ! Talk about adaptability! You'll see if his performances here warrant another look into his career. Oh, who am I kidding? These two songs here are the humble beginnings of pop sensation Eminem's favorite rapper. You read correctly.

Business As Usual ended up bafflingly repeating its two legendary predecessors’ critical and commercial feats. Read on, as examples of consistency rarely come this obvious.

I'M MAD

A short Funkadelic proclamation leads you straight into a track that will cave your chest open. Over a whirlwind mesh of Ohio Players and Boobie Knight & The Universal Lady supplemented by DJ Scratch’s, um, scratching of that Ad-Rock sample, Erick Sermon comes out chopping heads off. Seriously, dude stepped his flow game the fuck up! His lyrics were always fire so no worries there, but damn son! P comes in and continues right where his buddy left off. This shit was a statement of war if I ever saw one! Nice!

HARDCORE (FEATURING REDMAN)

Best believe the energy isn't letting up for a second! For you jump onwards straight into the best song on the friggin' album! And no, your eyes are not deceiving you, because I'm fully aware of what I wrote. EPMD continue their winning formula of saving their best punches for when they weren't sharing mic time with their understudies, even though Erick bested Parish with some fine quotables on this shit. Speaking of understudies, this is the verse that got the debuting Redman his deal. Well-deserving too, as his alliteration-littered verse, influenced by K-Solo’s spelling gimmick according to Reggie himself, is bluntly bananas over this minimalist masterpiece sampling the Ohio Players. Like I said, Erick and Parish still sneak fly lines in, but I call a hungry Redman the king of the blackout for a goddamn reason. I’ll also add that EPMD have always been masters of highlighting quotables from their own repertoire. By all means, this being the album’s best song should not stop you from listening to the rest of it.

RAMPAGE (FEATURING LL COOL J)

From one guest feature to another as the onslaught continues. I can’t remember if this or Give The People came out first. Oh well. That famous Lowell Fulson loop DJ Muggs used to craft How I Could Just Kill A Man, the b-side that made Cypress Hill household names? Yep, from here so thank EPMD. Also notable here is that, despite Chilly Jimmy's best efforts, and they can be pretty devastating, Parish was not to be denied as he steals the entire song with a verse selected by The Source for a Hip Hop Quotable, back when that publication did no wrong in the eyes of heads everywhere. Proof that when push came to shove, EPMD could fucking go. One thing though, P: Why are you calling yourself the ‘King Of The Bozack’?! As in ‘King Of The Ballsack’??!! Lesson learned: Never delve too much into a rapper’s mind, no matter how iconic said rapper is. Anyway, poor Erick had no chance to fight, as he was forced to record his short-but-still-dope verse while nursing an illness. Shame, that. We could've had both our protagonists trash Chilly Jimmy. Oh well, still a classic song.

MANSLAUGHTER

You might remember me talking about the Love Unlimited Orchestra loop forming this instrumental here. If so, you’ll remember me mentioning that our duo were the act that introduced it to the heads of that time. Well, here’s why they can lay claim to such an achievement: This song remains one of the finest album cuts in hip hop history, if only for the absurd amount of quotables from our hosts. Just when you thought one of them claimed the song with a dope-as-fuck line, the other answers accordingly. Props to DJ Scratch complimented the melodic beat with the perfect PMD excerpt. You need to hear this while driving back home from work. It’ll offer you an outlet for your anger at all the shithead drivers pissing you off on your way back while simultaneously calming you the fuck down and offering you a reprieve from the madness.

JANE 3

We arrive at the flashiest entry in the Jane saga beat-wise, purely because of the James Brown loop these two freak to perfection. Oh, and DJ Scratch forever immortalized the saga via scratching PMD’s spelling display of the fictional female's name. Lyrically, this diversion from the album's awesome BNB assault so far is most definitely the goofiest chapter yet, as the whole narrative here will have you laughing your ass right off at just how absurd it keeps getting with every passing bar. Trust that whenever these two are having fun, you’ll be roped into it as well.

FOR MY PEOPLE

And we’re back to more braggadocio, which I’m honestly not mad about. These two brag well together. I’m honestly surprised that our duo doesn’t include this song more into their live shows, as their Lyn Collins and UFO mashup is tailored for a live audience. That and you can clearly hear the cheers inserted into the resulting instrumental. Not Manslaughter, but a pretty good album cut nonetheless.

MR. BOZACK

Scratch that. The beat to the previous song is horseshit compared to this James Brown-heavy masterpiece. And it’s those Synthetic Substitution drums again, which only add to its energy levels. No bullshit, this may very well be the greatest beat on the album. And what does this iconic duo choose to do with such a priceless instrumental? Quite literally, Parish Smith raps a duet with his PENIS, in what is the absolute weirdest PSA about STDs in hip hop history. What’s stranger is that Erick plays the PENIS. I should’ve known something was off once I heard PMD’s ‘King Of The Bozack’ line on Rampage. What is WRONG with you two??!! Seriously, can you imagine how awesome it would’ve been had the pair used this beat with the previous song’s lyrics? We can’t have everything.

GOLD DIGGER

Another PSA. But this time it’s the lead single, alerting men everywhere to the dangers of superficial women. I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse referencing the misogynistic train of thought but then again, it’s shit like this that caused so many good women to be, at best, completely neglected by men during that decade. Oh and fellow men. I'll let you in on a lil' secret, so don't tell because it's so secret, alright? Read this very clearly: Maybe the reason you keep getting in these shitty situations is the fact that you’re constantly looking for love in clubs populated by materialistic human garbage. Top it all off, The mashup of Funkadelic, Denroy Morgan & Lyn Collins, while not an utter earsore, still underwhelmed. I don’t care if people think it’s a classic, I call it like I see it. Last but definitely most important: It should say a whole lot about Kanye West, whom shall henceforth be known on this blog as Headcase, that out of all the timeless hits EPMD have released throughout their tenure, this sewage is what he chose to replicate. Very stable human being, him.

GIVE THE PEOPLE

Again, I’m not really sure whether this was the second or third single off the album. Never mind. This is the very first time EPMD critique the industry in their music. And I must say, that’s where these two have always been at their very best. Here, the dueling MCs describe mainstream airplay and the forever-uphill battle hopeful artists from impoverished backgrounds have always gone through. PMD drops a pretty timeless line in his first 16 bars, damn near foreseeing the future of hip hop. Not many people listened, P. Anyway, while the beat on this album version was an underwhelming OJays loop, the video version (called the Jeep Mix) brilliantly rectified that mistake by looping a more bombastic excerpt of the same OJays record, while inserting a famed ESG UFO loop during our duo’s verses. Speaking of which, both redid their vocals and their delivery is infinitely better. DJ Scratch was flawless with his work on the original so his masterpieces were kept, which was an obviously smart move. The Average White Band sleighs were the icing on the cake. Now you know which version you should search for.

RAP IS OUTTA CONTROL

This b-side to Gold Digger is by far the meanest EPMD record you'll ever hear. Period. With a shoutout to Tom J the Savage from forgotten Hit Squad originals the Knucklehedz, the onslaught, barely over three minutes, begins with a menacing drum break penetrating the ominous Funkadelic loop. To make matters more interesting, EPMD loop a utterance from Reagan’s February ‘81 State Of The Union Address that gives the track half its title and weave it all the way through the rest of the song in an epic manner. The real clincher, though, is our duo’s delivery. What’s different here is that both E & P deliver each threat in a somewhat-tipsy whine without any sign of the usual bass rappers use when they attempt to intimidate the listener, which makes these two sound as if they’re actually beating you down. If you’ve been reading all these Hit Squad-centric posts of mine so far, then by now you’ve figured out that even though Erick is a quotable machine, Parish is definitely the better MC. And as such, he flourishes under the song’s intense atmosphere. To be fair though, both seriously stepped up their flow game here. This should’ve been the lead single, as it encapsulates the overall harder direction of Business As Usual. My favorite song on the album, apart from the posse cuts of course.

BROTHERS ON MY JOCK (FEATURING REDMAN)

Nautilus! Always a pleasure welcoming you back on BBR! Seriously, one should research Whosampled for just how many bangers this lone classic was sampled into. Anyway, people seem to think the abovementioned Hardcore was Reggie Noble’s first recorded performance. Correction: Hardcore was Reggie Noble’s first recorded performance that people heard. Simply because of the tracklisting. This song is, in fact, the true debut of the Funkadelic Devil inside a studio alongside EPMD. As such, Reggie sounds mad green here, with K-Solo’s influence slipping outta him in that “help” line. As still planned though, he scorched both Erick & Parish, although this time it was P who gave the better effort of the duo. Still preferred over Rampage. The comments section is there for a reason, so come at me motherfucker.

UNDERGROUND

DJ Evil D of the Beatminerz was inspired to craft the classic Black Moon cut How Many MCs by this very track, so thank EPMD. They loop that addictive Grover Washington Jr. sample, resulting in one thumping instrumental which the pair utilize to deliver a vintage verbal can of whupass, not unlike what they’ve been doing all album long. One of those album-deep gems that you could never find without listening to the album throughout.

HIT SQUAD HEIST

That’s 4 songs in a row until you hear something not worth your ears! Nice! Since Business As Usual is all about pushing our duo’s edginess, the Def Jam fuckfaces had to throw in a putrid contractual obligation following the then-recent upsurge in criminal references in hip hop. Which is why you can hear EPMD’s obvious apathy in their James Brown-centric beat. That, and the pair’s end performance is piss-poor at best. Pretty sure they invested zilch in this song, so if these two cared nothing for it, why the hell should you?!

FUNKY PIANO

After a long and confusing intro of various audio bits relevant to our duo, DJ Scratch unveils his production debut comprised of various Albert King samples welded together beautifully, one of which gives the song its title. Scratch lives up to his name while freaking the ever-living shit outta various iconic hip hop samples, primarily Chuck D for the hook. EPMD sweeten the deal with an art lost on this generation: A lyrical dedication to the DJ. This would be the first of many classic tributes the pair would craft. And we’re done.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Progression done at its best. EPMD have already proved they were special with Strictly Business & Unfinished Business, but this album blew away expectations. The magnitude of their sound's growth was so significant it surprised even their diehards. Not to mention these two made sure their diversions in subject matter, aside from a few stinkers, weren't brushed aside as self-absorbed crap. Bringing in Chilly Jimmy on Rampage was a masterstroke, as they forced his massive fanbase to sample their product, thereby adding to their brand that much more. Last but surely not least, the pair repped fellow Hit Squadian Redman heavy, as he remains the only guest to appear on more than one track on an EPMD album. In ensuring that people check for his next showing, they set hip hop up for one hell of a career of scene-stealing punchlines. Bottom line, Business As Usual was, is & will remain one of the greatest pieces of art hip hop has ever produced. I still say I hate Gold Digger, though.

WORTH IT? You'd better start pretending you didn't ask yourself that stupid-ass question in the first place. If you've already burned this into your brain more than two decades ago, go do so again! I know I will.

For more on the overarching Hit Squad story, check. As for their primary architects, knock yourself out.

*(Consensual or not, she was 17, you predatory waste of human space. I hope every single one of you out there suffer in the worst ways possible.)

K-Solo - Tell The World My Name (May 31, 1990)

(This post of mine was originally published more than three years ago on the Hip Hop Isn't Dead, blog of one Max, whom I consider to be my mentor in writing. Even if he doesn't know what the fuck I'm raving about. Just kidding! Love the recent return, Max!)

Once upon at time in the 1980's, there were two besties who met on a bus ride to school. They wanted to be cool like the other kids, so they decided to rap. Unlike those other fucking rejects, though, these two had what it takes from the beginning. These two became EPMD.

However, this is not their story.

Back in 1989, EPMD released a sophomore album that was a healthy smack in the face to naysayers who didn't think they could pull off a successful follow-up. Unfinished Business was the second great album in EPMD's catalogue, and one of the reasons for that consistency was Erick Sermon and Parish Smith's ability to build new acts and set up the proper platform for them.

Their first experiment was the inclusion of our headliner today, Kevin “K-Solo” Madison, on the song “Knick Knack Patty Wack”. Kevin, who was working as a toilet cleaner at the time (he really wasn't but the internet understands humor, right? Right?!), was the very first guest artist to ever appear on an EPMD album. And he was the only guest on Unfinished Business to boot. So it was vital that he make a strong impression.

Which was a huge flop if I ever saw one. K-Solo fucked up on his very first showing to the public by famously misspelling the word “bird” while using a godawful spelling gimmick during his verse. Erick & Parish’s mixing fiasco resulted in most hip hop heads mostly ignoring K-Solo whenever he popped up again.

Let’s correct that, shall we?

His verse on “Knick Knack Patty Wack” was actually very, very good up until the whole “bird” incident, so good that Black Thought from The Roots (a huge favourite of anyone who has a brain) bit a line from it on his own crew's classic track “What They Do”. And obviously it impressed EPMD so much that they took a chance on the guy, who entered the 1990s recording the first solo debut album from the extended Hit Squad family, Tell The World My Name. However, they decided to challenge their progeny by not making any vocal appearances anywhere on the project. Which would make K-Solo true to his rap name, at least.

They didn't leave him hanging behind the boards, though: other than one sole Erick Sermon production, the album's production duties were handled entirely by Parish Smith, which should have resulted in something interesting (back then, anyway).

Now, I’m not claiming that K-Solo is the next Rakim or anything, but shouldn’t we cut this guy more of a break?

That’s what you’re here to find out.

SPELLBOUND
The lone Erick Sermon production and the lead single, dominated by a myriad of Kool & The Gang excerpts. Kevin continues his insipid spelling gimmick here, but at least he doesn’t fuck it up this time. “Spellbound” kicked off a long beef between K-Solo and Yonkers-based cameo king DMX, who claimed that Solo bit his style after battling him in prison. In typical rap fashion, Solo claims the exact opposite. X actually released a “Spellbound” dis track of his own that rips this one to shreds (rapping over “Seven Minutes Of Funk”, no less!). Oh, you wanted info about this song? Well, there isn't anything that we hadn't already seen on Solo’s guest verse on EPMD’s album. That, and the generic Sermon beat that sounds as if he still didn’t have any confidence yet behind the boards (this was his solo production debut, after all). I know, I could have shortened this explanation to “Skip this shit”, right? Well, I’m an asshole.

ROCKIN’ FOR MY HOMETOWN
The first thing that Mr. Madison spits on this admittedly funky Parish Smith concoction is a correction of his famous fuck-up. Too late, motherfucker! He then completes the cutoff verse with some above-average boasts, shouting out the original “Biggie Smalls”, who apparently was his deejay at the time. Only later do I find out that this DJ is actually the legendary DJ Scratch. The more you know. Again, the beat utilizes a Johnny Hammond loop well. You know, for as much as DMX says he hates Solo, he sure paid attention to this album enough to jack this PMD beat wholesale for his Fuckin Wit D track. Says a lot, don’t it? Overall, this was fairly good.

EVERYBODY KNOWS ME
This song marks the point of a major transition on the album for me: PMD's beat is reminiscent of The Bomb Squad in its disjointed genius, beautifully meshing Steely Dan, Bob James & Joe Quarterman/Free Soul. However, the true revelation is Kevin’s rhyming, as he actually starts sounding pretty good. The main reason is that this is Solo’s first foray into storytelling, as he brings his interpretation of EPMD's own It Wasn't Me It Was The Fame. Solo makes tis track his own, though, no question. It’s as though a bolt of lightning struck our host and told him that maybe he should start rhyming about his own experiences instead of randomly prattling braggadocio in a coma-inducing manner. His image depiction picks up very noticeably, and the song is all the better for it. Very nice. There's a very funny bit at the end of the song, too, where Mr. Madison starts skipping his own voice, as if he was haplessly trying to imitate the cutting of Biggie Smalls the First. Still can't get past the fact that Scratch called himself that.

SPEED BLOCKS
Solo gets his Big Daddy Kane on, sounding pretty confident in his “Set It Off”-style spitting. The beat isn’t as massive of a jump forward as the previous one, but it does the job. Kevin depicts the image of a race, with him winning, of course. What is it with most rappers fearing a display of vulnerability? Take a page out of Ghostface Killah’s book, you insecure fucks!

FUGITIVE
K-Solo delivers a master class in storytelling, painting an image that won’t be forgotten anytime soon. Here, he depicts a run-in with the legal system that, while a tad corny in execution, is told through a very engaging narrative. Parish’s production certainly had a lot to do with this, as he delivers an instrumental still rich in quality decades after it was originally cheffed up and one of his best on the entire album, dominating the track with a mesmerizing Grover Washington Jr mesh. This shit was great!

TALES FROM THE CRACK SIDE
The eleventy-one billion rappers that were throwing public service announcements around like Frisbees (remember when people actually played with Frisbees?) at the time should have studied this song as if they were cramming for a fucking final. Parish cooks up an instrumental that crawls up your skin as the song progresses with a creepy-as-all-fuck blend of Grover Washington Jr, Eddie Kendricks and James Brown. Upon which Mr. Madison unveils his best performance on the album thus far. Solo presents another story rap, rhyming about the effects of crack with some pretty disturbing twists. This shit was an excellent surprise: I didn’t know Kevin was capable of this. A damn fine one-two combo if I ever saw one.

YOUR MOM’S IN MY BUSINESS
Damn! Solo’s on fire with these stories! Now he spits a hilariously vivid depiction of his girlfriend’s mother and her disapproval of her daughter’s relationship with our protagonist, “'cause of my haircut and people call me Solo”. I’m not sure if he intended for this to be funny, but the image of my wife’s mother scolding her because my friends call me an unforgivable nickname such as Solo is hilarity in its purest form. Elsewhere, Mr. Madison shouts out an important member of his future team, producer-slash-rapper Sam Sneed, who was such a big prospect in the 1990s. that Dr. Dre himself fought for his services...and then proceeded to kick him the fuck out of his inner circle. Anyway, the beat, once again, is a home run by Parish. This was entertaining as fuck! “How could you go out with a man nicknamed Solo, for God’s sake? I raised you better than that!”

REAL SOLO PLEASE STAND UP
Solo reuses the non-spelling part of his debut verse on “Knick Knack Patty Wack”. That alone is a severe letdown from the high bar set by the previous tracks. Then he continues to spit about how he should own the Solo name. Damn, that name is sure inflating our host’s head. The PMD instrumental is a fairly goofy Rhythm Heritage loop that actually does its job. On a side note, I don’t exactly know how popular the To Tell The Truth quiz show was, but it sure is prevalent in hip hop. (Slim Shady comes to mind.)

RENEE-RENEE
One of the absolute worst sex raps I’ve ever heard. Period. Shame that a funky Idris Muhammad loop is wasted on this garbage.

SOLO ROCKS THE HOUSE
More bragging. Ugh. Parish's beat, a James Brown excerpt sampled in the most annoying way possible, also does nothing to serve our host. To top it off, the chorus is a fucking earsore.

THE MESSENGER
Kevin’s audition for the African Empowerment rap movement of that period, with a Malcolm X sample to boot. In retrospect, this track’s purpose is as clear as crystal: this is nothing but a fucking cash grab. The audio sample was completely wasted here. Even Solo’s tone when he shouts out Nelson Mandela (R.I.P.) is unconvincing. And the beat, trashing yet another James Brown loop, is the "will clog up your toilet for months"-type of poo. This time I’ll be nice and say: skip this shit.

DRUMS OF DEATH
The beat on this final song picks up the pace tremendously, as do K-Solo's rhymes and delivery to match. This is one hell of a way to end proceedings, leaving things on a high note.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Tell The World My Name is kind of a head-scratcher. On more than one occassion, you have K-Solo attempting (and failing, spectacularly so) to cross over to the mainstream, sounding very disjointed over numerous PMD beats (and the lone Erick Sermon track) in the process. However, he also demonstrates a then-unknown incredible knack for storytelling, and does so repeatedly throughout the album. And it's not like the man can't spit. In fact, maybe that's part of my gripe with him: He hasn't channeled that talent throughout the entire album. Of course, none of this translated into any form of commercial success whatsoever, but it did give his label, Atlantic, a reason to issue a sophomore album, so I guess that counts for something.

WORTH IT? If you can find this fairly easily, then I recommend investing your time, as a considerable portion of this album fucking bangs. The other portion, however, is absolute pig shit, so I’ll leave it up to you.

For more on Kevin Self Organization Left Others, here. And for more from the Hit Squad, indulge.

EPMD - Unfinished Business (August 1, 1989)

Something to note about the importance of this run before I start:

There was a Raekwon interview on the Combat Jack Show (RIP Reggie "Combat Jack" Osse) a while back, where Cheffy highlighted why the Wu-Tang Clan dominated the hip hop industry so. It was crucially because they emulated the business model of a certain Hit Squad, which solidifies the fact that the Hit Squad was the very first commercially dominant collective of highly affiliated hip hop solo acts in history. Keyword: dominant. Let's face it, boy/girl (pick one), as critically influential as the Juice Crew were (which is never to be disputed), only Biz Markie RIP & Big Daddy Kane were  steady with their commercial impact. Closest thing in that collective was Roxanne's Revenge, and that, while massive at the time, was a one-off. Hell, Cheffy even compared himself and his RAGU partner Ghostface Killah to our subjects here. But as much as RAGU are my shit, I've always felt that the two Clansmen who bore the most resemblance in skill and stature to EPMD were Cousins RZA & GZA. Both were the driving creative force and the savvy business minds behind the massive movements under their umbrellas. With EPMD, the lines are even more blurred, as both Erick Sermon and Parish Smith had quite the acute business moves during their respective careers, whether together or apart. And it all started here, on this very album you're tackling right now.

According to our duo though, Unfinished Business almost never came to light. Why? The exposure EPMD experienced after the then-roaring success of their debut Strictly Business brought with it the always-fun element of haters, and apparently the EPMD hater camp was a pretty vocal one. Writing these two off as flashes in the pan, this group of very social creatures started infiltrating every venue, every publication, every radio show our duo were featured in and proceeded to shame the pair on the assumption that they can't replicate their success again. To this day, I still fail to grasp what would drive any group of hip hop heads to, absolutely out of the blue, hate on an act that experienced success with their debut without leaning on any form of wide-spread controversy.

Apparently, so did EPMD themselves. The very first song they wrote after all that craziness ended up being the album's timeless lead single So Wat Cha Sayin'. The record was the key that opened the lyrical floodgates upon which the rest of the album was written. Unfinished Business was an attempt by EPMD to diversify their subject matter, delving into pre-success struggles and PSAs, along with their BNB forte. And again, the album marks the first step the pair took as executives through debuting the very first guest on an EPMD album and member of the aforementioned Hit Squad, Central Islip, LI native Kevin Madison bka K-Solo aka Wolfgang Murdermouth (Yep) on Knick Knack Patty Wack. You'll figure out if this particular debut was memorable or not in the review. Production-wise, EPMD again handled everything, though to me, the jury is still out on whether Parish did the whole album or him and Erick simply bounced ideas around together.

Unfinished Business replicated the critical and commercial success of its predecessor by selling more than five hundred thousand units Stateside alone, and successfully continuing their grimy funk aesthetic, which still hasn't been utilized so well since. With that in mind, EPMD's status within this game as a problem was solidified. You're here to see just how big of a problem this album really made them.

SO WAT CHA SAYIN'
The moment you hear the BT Express guitar lick, you'll know this album is an entirely different beast from Strictly Business. Point further proven when E steps up to the mic, because son goes the fuck in, in a way unseen before this record. And if you thought Erick progressed lyrically, Parish steps in and blows him the hell away with his contribution. The simplicity of slowing down a Funkadelic vocal sample and placing that as the hook remains one of hip hop's shining moments of genius to this very day, and I don't care if many people mastered the technique afterwards. This is shit you've never heard until then. P also addresses the hate the group received from overzealous fans of Eric B & Rakim in the timeless parting line of his second verse. No, I'm not telling you what it is, go listen to the song! You will thank me!

TOTAL KAOS
Another smacker of a beat, another Funkadelic sample! This time, it's paired with short horn stabs from James Brown combined with a Parish Smith line scratched in. The end result will just feel warm and embracing after the chaos of the first track. Pun very much intended. Erick establishes himself as the starter of most EPMD songs on this album, with Parish playing cleanup conversely, and here the differences between the two's styles begin to show: Erick focuses more on obscure references, while Parish is more confrontational and flow-savvy. Still, the two mesh together quite masterfully, and this track is no exception

GET THE BOZACK
OK, I don’t know how a phrase such as “Get The Bozack” infiltrated the hip hop lexicon for so long but here we are. So, it's weird that DMX has such an affinity for EPMD songs when he's had a never-ending beef with their homie K-Solo. How else would you explain Dame Grease and PK straight up jacking the BT Express loop that EPMD came up with for his official debut single? Anyways, the lyrics to this are actually some of the first rhymes that EPMD ever wrote for themselves, so I still can't make sense of why it was delayed until the sophomore. Because you bet your doughy, smelly & warty ass these two bring the ruckus something lovely. Awesome song!

JANE II

The title explains it all. Once again, Rick James is all over this beat, as EPMD present the next chapter in a slightly more humorous tone, with their delivery sounding baked as fuck. I’m telling you, the bit where P answers E’s inquiry about his own whereabouts never fails to crack me up. Great progression, you two.

PLEASE LISTEN TO MY DEMO

This song may be the most heartfelt in EPMD’s entire catalog, as the pair proceed into tales from their comeup ending with the duo being signed, over a very influential Faze-O loop. Don’t believe me? Go ask OC, WC & Evil D just to name a few. No, I’m not mentioning Kriss Kross’ Tonite’s Tha Night. What do you mean, I just did?! Back to these two though, as both display an arresting degree of attention to detail. Exactly what was needed to make this one hell of a memorable hip hop song. You’ll be coming back to this more and more.

IT'S TIME 2 PARTY

OK, this is where EPMD officially entered uncharted waters: Contractual obligations. And as such, EPMD have created a harmless clubbing song set to a fairly popular MFSB loop. Really, ask Cappadonna, it's pretty goddamn popular. Your slight gripe with the track will be that you could’ve had grandchildren with the time you spent listening to the same loop on repeat between our duo’s verses. Moving on.

WHO'S BOOTY

I’m done with misogynistic displays. Foreal. The difference between this and the Jane series is that they spend just as much time dissing themselves as they do Jane and that the whole Jane saga is tongue in cheek. I say that even though I liked the Fred Wesley/JBs loop along with the sped up Funkadelic hook here. Shame.

THE BIG PAYBACK
This second single is a fucking masterpiece. With a myriad of James Brown samples forming a damn confrontational instrumental, EPMD bring you the motherfucking business. The music video also showed a little rag-tag group calling themselves NWA heavily featuring in our duo's said video. You might've heard of them. Bottom line: This battle track is one of the finest ever made and if you incredulously haven't heard it yet, you need to go rectify that shit now. Seriously, stop reading this post and go listen to it.

STRICTLY SNAPPIN' NECKS
Songs like this and its predecessor display how EPMD added new production techniques to their arsenal, such as making beats that stay the hell outta their way as they rip shit down. Because although this track isn't nearly as thrilling as The Big Payback, it really doesn't need to be. Erick's oneliners are always refreshing but Parish surprises by one-upping his partner in his own department, assuring you that these two were not resting on their laurels. This progression really shows in P's second verse as he flies off the rails for nearly 30 bars! This is one hell of an album cut!

KNICK KNACK PATTY WACK (FEATURING K-SOLO)
This is probably the most important song on the record. Why? Because this is where EPMD set up the foundations of an empire that would've surely been that era's biggest hip hop conglomerate (hell, it might've continued to this day. This is Bloggerland after all so why not hypothesize, right?) had these two stayed together. Of course with such lofty expectations, it was important that this step leave its mark, and by God does it ever as K-Solo outright annihilates a fairly on-point EPMD and their instrumental, which popularised that Joe Cocker sample after the very underrated Ultramagnetic MCs discovered it. 2Pac's California Love? Yep, thank EPMD. I'll note something here: EPMD never outshone their progeny's appearances throughout their discography, which is a masterclass move. Why? Because that way, they can generate interest in said progeny's upcoming works. Which almost worked brilliantly for Solo here had he not infuriatingly misspelled "bird" during that insipid spelling gimmick at the end of his otherwise-timeless verse. Instead, he now only has a niche following, which may be what he wanted all along, I don't know. Despite all that, this still is the best song on the album.

YOU HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK
From the album’s best song to a strong candidate for the absolute worst track in EPMD's entire fucking catalog. How I wish I was exaggerating. The two, probably drunk off their balls while making this song, decided to let the drum machine play and bring in longtime production associate Charlie Marotta to play one of the most annoying guitar riffs you'll ever hear while the duo give you a DUI PSA. And they present it as the third single. See how contractual obligations can lead to horrible music?! Fuck this song.

IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS THE FAME
Ah, back to normal! In fact, this also is one of the most influential EPMD songs ever, as our duo catch wreck over their mystic mesh of David Bowie and the Stylistics. Here, they both launch into descriptive performances about the various ways in which fame changed the way people treat them and how they dealt with such changes. Key in these songs is the attention to details aforementioned in Please Listen To My Demo, which differs from being descriptive for the fuck of it, and these two pull it off brilliantly, turning this into one hell of an inspiring record. And we're done.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Many people recognised these two for their commercial achievements with this album back in the day, but very few currently touch upon how much Erick Sermon and Parish Smith grew in one friggin' year. Aside from a few very ill-advised attempts, Unfinished Business is one big lesson in progression and the evolution of one's brand. Beat-wise, the sampling got that much more creative, leading to some of hip hop's most iconic tunes later to be revisited by rap acts across the spectrum of the industry. Lyrically, though, is where critical ignorance piled up in spades: The album proves even more so than Strictly Business that these two can damn well hold your attention. The range of subjects EPMD touched upon continue to be relevant in hip hop to this very day, especially the personal tales of Please Listen To My Demo and It Wasn't Me, It Was The Fame. Also accomplished is the establishment of EPMD's Hit Squad with K-Solo's blistering cameo. Until he spelled shit, of course. Regardless, Unfinished Business is the album that will forever hook fans of the duo's debut to their later material, for better or worse. It did so for me, I'll tell ya that much.

WORTH IT? Every motherfucking step of the way! Unless you'd rather go check out whatever the fuck Lil Pump or Big Shaq are doing. Hey, do you. I'm not one to judge! Keep in mind that this shit here lasted more than 30 years, so you might wanna see what the fuss is about.

For more on the pair Making Dollars, check. And for more of the Hit Squad exploits, peep game.

EPMD - Strictly Business (June 7, 1988)

Finally. I get to start with a run I've been craving to do ever since I started two years ago. That of the extended Hit Squad family, infamously headed by one Erick Sermon aka the Green Eyed Bandit aka Grand Royal aka the Funk Lord and one Parish Smith (not Parrish. The man himself spells it with ONE 'R', thank you very much.) aka the Microphone Doctor aka Slow Flow aka MC Cold Killa, cka Erick & Parish Making Dollars aka Erick & Parish Millenium Ducats. EPMD.

Where do I even start with this entry? Should I begin by highlighting the climate it was released in? 1988? The most influential year in hip hop history? Or should I mention the fact that it singlehandedly jumpstarted an entire school of sampling? One that would make these two one of the most sampled rap acts in history?

I'm thinking, no. I'm starting with the very interesting tidbit that this group was my introduction to 80s hip hop. Yep. I never heard a single 80s rap record until these two entered my life. Their work made me notice just how much the scene valued your lines. Every bar HAD to be a timeless quotable, or else you were not getting recognized. At all. If one would notice, that is precisely the reason why 90s hip hop was chock full of audio samples from 80s hip hop. Now you know the cloth you're dealing with when talking about these two.

Also of importance, the 80s was an era where you were required to excel at not one, but as many elements of hip hop as you could. Being that this genre has transcended every barrier placed in front of it, its nature of being hip hop music has overshadowed the fact that rhyming and DJing are only two elements. The rest are breaking, graffiti and beatboxing. Some would even add the five percenter inspired knowledge of self, which I now consider to be the most vital of all, as that very notion means so much more today than what Clarence Edward Smith intended for it back in the mid-60s. Anyways, back to EPMD. Both members had an integral connection with music during their childhoods, which was reflected by the fact that Parish became a DJ in his teens while Erick was notorious within his family for his impressions of Soul legends as a kid.

Little did they know that by the time these two became a legitimate rap act signed to Fresh/Sleeping Bag Records, their beatmaking choices would forever more change the landscape of hip hop music, as they were the first rap act to introduce funk music onto a hip hop record. Starting with their debut single It's My Thing/You're A Customer (on which the group's name was embarrassingly spelled EPEEMD). I distinctly remember the EPMD episode of Unsung where you can see DMC of Run-DMC, EPMD's idols, talk about his initial reaction to hearing It's My Thing while driving. It was an open mouth and intimidation of these two's revolutionary production choices.

Or rather one's production choices. Although I can't really find the exact details, apparently the first three EPMD albums were produced by Parish Smith alone. Excluding the two tracks featuring one Reggie Noble bka the mighty Redman off the third, which were E-Dub's work. I even heard that P and veteran sound engineer Charlie Marotta were E's production mentors. Now I'm not sure if their work was that divided, but I'd like to believe that they were more collaborative than all this individualist talk being shoveled around (That, and the production on all four pre-breakup albums was credited to both them cats). Plus, I've heard both of their solo work behind the boards, and while I'm still a big fan of both, something was different during their initial 87-92 run.

Full disclosure: When I first wanted to listen to EPMD's material, I had no idea where to start as I was too damn sensitive to the late 80s style of basic rhyming. So I decided to listen to their pre-breakup material (more on the breakup in later reviews) in reverse chronological order. The first song I heard by these two was Headbanger, and I was blown away. Just how long were these two this good? That question convinced me to abandon my trajectory into their discography and start properly from the beginning with this. Strictly Business.

The making-of story of this album is a fucking doozy, so you'll want to watch that Unsung episode right the fuck now. I'll wait.

I know, right?! So the commercial result of said efforts were immortalized by Parish on So Wat Cha Sayin', lead single of EPMD's sophomore album: 'Dropped the album Strictly Business and you thought we would fold/Thirty days later, the LP went gold!'

Seeing as Strictly Business dropped in a time where debut singles were a pretty big deal, I'm starting this review with the singles, then I'll go down from there to the rest of the tracklisting. Also, to show you just how much people were influenced by these two's production choices, I'll be mentioning songs by various hip hop artists that borrowed from our duo alongside the EPMD song that inspired them in every EPMD review I write from now on.

IT'S MY THING
Yep, the beat to, ugh, Jay-Z's horrid Ain't No N**** came from here. Guess which song I prefer? I also prefer Deathtrap by the Gravediggaz, as it’s an infinitely more respectable take than him and then-underage whore Foxy Brown’s sex rants. Anyways, this is where everything started. It is also future Def Squad member Keith Murray's favorite hip hop song. Ever. Can't say I blame him, really. After a very famous helicopter sample, our duo lay out their modus operandi chauffeured by Seven Minutes of Funk sprinkled with a myriad of vocal samples. From the jump, you see how natural the chemistry between them really is, which shouldn't be surprising as they are best friends from middle school. Of note also is the fact that you'll find it hard to choose who bested who in lyrical combat here, as their skill level is again very similar. This is the debut single of a legendary career for a fucking reason.

YOU'RE A CUSTOMER
This beat was just used for the BET Cypher everyone's raving about. Whatever.  This also happens to be, far and wide, the most sampled EPMD song ever. The reason why every legend you know adores this song, despite the beat being the most minimalist on the entire album, is because both members black the fuck out here. Seriously, this song alone had enough quotables to fuel a sizeable chunk of the 90s hip hop scene, especially that East Coast boom bap shit you came here to read about. Props to the beat, too, as it's an adoringly simple mashup of ZZ Top, Steve Miller & Kool & The Gang. More importantly, it was tooled to get the hell outta the way as the two MCs went in. Also, a minor tidbit is that one of Parish’s lines here was misunderstood by fellow Long Islander and hip hop grandmaster Rakim to be a potshot, which started a brief but nasty lyrical feud between the two legendary acts. I love this song.

STRICTLY BUSINESS
The first single to actually chart for our duo. Built around Eric Clapton's famous interpolation of Bob Marley's classic and essentially the very first of many songs to sample Erick Sermon, this is a perfect encapsulation of what an 80s hip hop banger sounds like. Of course, our duo utilize their beat effectively and bombard the fuck outta you with quotables. This song is my shit!

I'M HOUSIN'
Now we come to not the best, but the most underrated song of the whole heap. Good to know that Souls Of Mischief and Rage Against The Machine really like this song, right? E and P wreck shop over a deft as fuck Aretha Franklin loop. Another smash off the bat. I especially dug their introductory verses where they display a taste of storytelling finesse. Oh, don't worry. You'll get to that soon enough.

LET THE FUNK FLOW
The reviled title track to Nastradamus, one of Nas' worst albums jacked this beat wholesale. Yep, attempted to tarnish the legacy of this infinitely-better song. You hear a classic opening Otis Redding riff, following which you are submerged against your will in the funkiest of JBs loops sprinkled with some Beastie Boys schratches here n there, as our duo swarm around your ears and take turns devouring the ever-living shit outta them with three blistering verses apiece. Very nice!

YOU GOTS TO CHILL
So, I guess Vanilla Ice covered this song in '08. Yep. All bullshit aside: To this day, whenever EPMD perform this live, the crowd enters a blood-crazed frenzy. The reason? That beat. That Zapp loop marinated in that Kool & the Gang flavor. Although it certainly helps that both Erick and Parish deliver the BNB business, as well. This track is essential listening.

GET OFF THE BANDWAGON
Here we arrive at my least favorite instrumental, as it's sample-less. Which translates today to dated as fuck. However, I still love this song because EPMD get busy on this shit. Erick and Parish kick the quotables up a crazy notch and you'll believe in 80s rap for damn certain after this.

THE STEVE MARTIN
From the most dated sounding song to the goofiest: EPMD rap about coming up with a dance that will forever retire the Pee Wee Herman dance with one named after one of my favorite comedians. Fuck you, I loved his Pink Panther movies. You can see where the popularity attempt went, but the amount of fun these two are having with this song is infectious as all hell. And that Otis Redding loop backed by that Patty Duke bass interpolation only sweetens the audio recipe that much more. This was bafflingly awesome.

DJ K LA BOSS
If you know anything about 80s hip hop, you'd know how common it was to have a track comprised entirely of the act's DJ flexing his skills. Now, I've always been kinda ambivalent to this practice but I appreciate its magnitude for what it was and given such, this was pretty good.

JANE
Told you we'd come back to their storytelling! And thus begins a tale of the morally conspicuous female who follows these two their whole career. Yep. that's 30 years and counting. If nothing, the commitment alone has to be appreciated, right? As if you need me to convince you of this song's worth, as the Rick James- heavy beat will do that for me. The detailed verses are masterfully written by both our hosts, who've really performed neck and neck throughout the entire record, which is yet another achievement that escapes most group-based rap acts. Trust me, people anticipate every chapter in this Jane series for a damn reason.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Once again, this is the album that made me acquire a taste for 80s hip hop. The reason why I adapted to this then-foreign sound so easily is because these two blazed a new path in production and added sampling sources unheard of back then. Also of note is the fact that both members of the duo were sharp as fuck behind the mic, dropping quotables and telling stories about the music itself. Something that's never done anymore. Never. Besides, this album established an entire school of production based on funk into the industry, and believe me, that's a BIG ASS school.

WORTH IT? This album had better be in your collection. You'll see hip hop in an entirely new light when you finally appreciate where it comes from. Trust me, that is an essential hip hop experience.

If you're looking for more from EPMD, here. For more on this Hit Squad thing, you better click on this shit.

Mobb Deep - Murda Muzik (August 17, 1999)

It's been almost three months, and the gaping wound left by the sudden death of Albert Johnson bka the immortal Prodigy from the timeless Mobb Deep is still fresh. Add that to the deaths of various truly beloved figures across the entertainment spectrum, including but most definitely not limited to the legendary June Foray, the legendary George Romero, the legendary Don Rickles, Sir Roger Moore, Sir John Hurt, Bill Paxton, Charlie Murphy, John Heard, Miguel Ferrer, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington and you have what is shaping up to be a pretty shitty 2017 in pop culture.

Nevertheless, I'm writing this review to attempt to highlight just why many hip hop lovers took such a liking to P's work, whether as a solo artist in albums like his fairly-awesome debut or within the infinitely more consumed world of his Mobb Deep days. And today, I might be tackling his most curious contribution to the unit yet, that of the massive headscratcher that is Murda Muzik.

Murda Muzik began life as a direct response to the reaction people had to Prodigy's solo moves, which started around the same time. Namely, Mobb Deep wanted to prove that even though P was making a solo album, they were not breaking up by any means. One would be stupid to ignore the kind of chemistry these two snots displayed when applying their by-now revered formula of Hav's sinister beats driving P's harrowing rhymes, themselves in turn driving Hav to feebly try to catch up to P's lyricism, which can result in impressive performances on Hav's part, but only just. So seeing as they achieved the impossible and delivered two undisputed classic albums only one year apart, they stuck to the plan for their third album, scheduled for an early '99 release. Thing is, the internet happened.

An early version of Murda Muzik was leaked on the new medium and the shit was bootlegged to all hell. This scared the everliving bejesus outta the fuckheads at Loud Records, who immediately sent their two artists back into the studio, locked the door and told them that they'll throw all their candy away unless they came up with as many new songs for the album as possible. Naturally, quality control suffered greatly as a result, but being that we're talking about Mobb friggin' Deep here, there must be some quality produced in those new sessions, right?

In any case, the final Murda Muzik draft was an amalgamation of new and leaked tracks thrown haphazardly together and yet it still became Mobb Deep's biggest commercial success, selling one million copies stateside in a mere two months. Many believe that the inclusion of the leaked Whites Lines, now branded Quiet Storm, played a significant part in that, especially when it was remixed into a club banger with gyrating club hit extraordinaire Lil Kim providing a feature many critics lauded to be her very best, an endorsement I will review later. Heartwarming stuff, really. The question remains, though: Is the actual album that good?

Murda Muzik, boy/girl (pick one):

INTRO
Sampling Reagan's infamous speech (pun very much intended). Next!

STREETS RAISED ME (FEATURING BIG NOYD & CHINKY)
What the fuck is this?! Havoc produces a straight garbage beat that bears its warty, smelly ass and takes the messiest shit one can think of over Hav's past brilliance as a producer. This, truly, is a clear-as-crystal example of how Hav's lazy productions impacted P's lyrical fall from grace. Even though you definitely hear the late legend's desperate efforts at saving this song with some grim imagery provided by him and unofficial third Mobb Deep member Tajuan Perry bka Big Noyd aka Noydy aka Pizza Dude. Hav's lyrics? Oh they're DOA for damn sure. Former LovHer member Talia Burgess bka Chinky's R&B is, you know what? I think I'll refrain from saying anything about her. I really don't want to bash something P's involved in this close after his death but he kept it real all the way with his fans, so it's only right that I do the same. Fuck this song.

WHAT'S YA POISON (FEATURING CORMEGA)
Now THAT'S more like it! Hav snaps out of whatever drug stupor he was on the last track to give us a splendid return to his patented haunting sampling choices, this time a piano loop that invokes a sense of dread like only his beats can. Nevertheless, P's lyrics are still traumatized from the previous beat he rhymed on, so his contribution's merely alright. Which is way more than I can say for Hav's rhymes: The man has truly lost all hope in redeeming himself on that particular front if these rhymes so far are anything to go by. However, just in case you thought you were getting treated to another sewage cake of a song, Cormy steps in and repays P for what he did on Killaz Theme off his delayed debut. (I know this song actually came out in 2001 but it wasn't supposed to. My point stands.) No lie, this verse is the true reason people finally started taking Cormy seriously as a legitimate lyricist as he blacks out and gives you the full course: Wit, imagery, introspection, flow, multisyllables, it's all here. Thereby singlehandedly revitalizing your interest in this album. I reiterate my belief that this song would've served better within Cormy's discography while Killaz Theme is a better Mobb Deep track. What? I'm a stubborn asshole and you love it.

SPREAD LOVE
Can't fault Hav's beat for this one, though. He did bring out a very rare Nina Urbano sample that sets the tone nicely for the duo to smash a home run. They don't, though, as they set the song off with one cringeworthy back and forth, followed by worse rhymes from Hav and even worse rhymes from P himself. Seriously, only God knows what son was on when he wrote this, because there ain't no chance in hell that he'd let this shit fly whilst sober. This song puts P's descent on full display, which will break your heart into a million pieces.

LET A HO BE A HO
So we got another Hav solo where he spews misogyny like only he can, as if we didn't get our fill from More Trife Life. At least More Trife Life had a semi-decent beat, because God help whoever heard this piece of primate diarrhea. I guess he believed in his core that songs like this will get him over with the fair sex. I really do. Had this song been a person, you'd've ripped his wisdom teeth out with your bare hands. You may take comfort in the fact that you will not hear another song on this album that's nearly as shitty as this one.

I'M GOING OUT (FEATURING LIL CEASE)
Hav laces the beat with a Miklos Rozsa acoustic loop that should drive the three rappers present to reach for their lyrical heat. Keyword: Should. Well, at least P shows more sobriety in his writing as his flow improves drastically. Sadly, you're still left with some uninspired threats being prattled off to your infinite boredom. At least his hook had a clever thought, right? Yeah, that was true until Hav runs that scheme into the ground with his unimaginative attempts at being witty. And Lil Cease is Lil Cease, what the fuck were you expecting?! When will the onslaught of crap end?

ALLUSTRIOUS
Goofy title and asinine hook aside, this song is clearly one of the leaked joints. How, you ask? Because this track houses the first Prodigy performance on this album that will blow you the fuck away. Never mind Havoc's above-average opening verse (itself miles ahead of anything he spit so far here), This is the Prodigy I choose to remember, elevating his threat game to legitimate poetry levels through expert use of vivid imagery over an organ-heavy instrumental perfectly placed by Havoc for him to wreck. Shit is so good you'll be glad to hear Havoc return with his lyrics revised to compete with his partner, only for P to reclaim the track again with a trademark verse that's actually hilarious in its dismissal of rap rivals. This was refreshing to say the least!

ADRENALINE
Some more sampled organs from a Steve Hackett gem, sounding even better than the previous track. Lyrics are a different story, though. Every time you come close to writing either rapper's verses off, they say something that grabs your attention. Nowhere is this more apparent than the third verse, where Prodigy goes on a redundant-as-fuck tangent for the first few bars only to return with chilling descriptions in the remaining portion of said verse. The whole song's weird like that. Oh well, you'll enjoy the overall package.

WHERE YA FROM (FEATURING 8-BALL)
For the very first time on a Mobb Deep album, Hav relinquishes production duties to someone not from New York: Here it's T-Mix, main producer of In Our Lifetime, the fourth opus of revered Memphis hip hop tag team 8-Ball & MJG. Me personally? I haven't heard enough from that particular duo to form a decisive opinion on them, but this song is a stark departure from what you'd expect from the Queens duo. Not to say this song is bad or anything, far from it: T-Mix and 8-Ball do their respective parts so well that this sounds like a dope-as-fuck 8-Ball song that just so happens to feature Mobb Deep. Speaking of which, our duo are a smidge better than the album's usual here with no real slip ups yet no true eye-opening quotables. Doesn't fit the album at all but still very fucking dope.

QUIET STORM
Ah yes. Quite possibly the greatest example of Prodigy's lyrical superiority over your average-joe platinum sellers. Seriously, since this song was already a perfect Prodigy solo joint way before Murda Muzik was finished, Hav had no choice but to relegate himself to the hook while clearing the room for P to wreck shit over the menacing result of a Melle Mel-Smokey Robinson mashup. And wreck shit, P definitely did: This is my personal favorite Prodigy song. Everything one could ever like about the man's rhyming is abundantly present here. Three verses filled to the brim with imagery, wordplay, wit, etc. Resulting in quotables galore for every hip hop fan lucky enough to hear this. If you ever had any passing interest in dude and you've never heard this song (very highly unlikely as that may be), you cannot let this song pass you by.

WHERE YA HEART AT
With this beat, Havoc opens a window into the dreary world of introspection utilizing a somber as all hell Sade classic. And trust me: When you dangle such a well prepped meal in front of Prodigy, introspective motherfucker that he was, you can bet your bottom lip he's devouring the chance leaving zero leftovers for whatever poor soul that dared to share the mic with him. Oddly enough, even Havoc gives a serious attempt at introspection, only to return to the same old spiel he's been spewing all album long just before the end of his first verse. Oh all right, I'll let him slide this time. Hell, I don't even need to. You will adore this track on the strength of P's two verses filled to the brim with grim imagery, nihilism and damning threats. The best part of the whole song, however, is his tear-jerking hook. A master stroke, its inclusion completes the circle of despair these two drew with their contributions. You can never run out of ways to describe pain and suffering, and despite many people shying away from it, it's an essential emotion to convey in art. As far as I'm concerned, hip hop ain't no different in that regard.

NOYD INTERLUDE

Exactly what the title says. Skip.

CAN'T FUCK WIT (FEATURING RAEKWON)

Oh dear. Havoc's back at it again with his dangerous attempts to utterly ruin his legacy as a producer. What's more, his half-assery seems to be the driving force behind the entire track, so yeah you're screwed as his verse and especially his hook are sewer rat vomit. This is one disastrous attempt at flossing from the Mobb, and yes, P's once again the laziest rapper on the shit. But really, can you blame him?! Bless Cheffy's heart, though. He really thought this was a track worth his efforts as he turns in the best flossing performance on here. Nothing to be proud about but still, one of the few times where Rae outperforms others on the same song. And it's Mobb Deep so I guess that has to count for something, right? Right?

THUG MUZIK (FEATURING INFAMOUS MOBB & CHINKY)
Former Whooligan and Soul Assassins protégé Alan Maman bka internet favorite the Alchemist was brought to the Mobb's attention through Big Twins, who along with Ty Nitty and Godfather Pt.3 (still can't get over how stupid that pseudonym is), comprise Infamous Mobb, Mobb Deep's weed carrier team. And thank God he did, because therein began one of the most fruitful relationships in hip hop history in Prodigy and the Alchemist. The two would become so dependent on each other's musical talents that over time they'd actually fail to make good music with anyone else. I can barely stand a vast majority of Al's beats today, unless he's producing P. Something just takes over him and he rediscovers that prodigious ear he honed so long ago. And vice versa with P, because over time, it seemed he would save his best rhymes for Alchemist beats only. Anyway, here Al was still in proving grounds, so he gave the Mobb a breathtaking instrumental composed from various George Winston piano cuts. So naturally, the whole team decided to get in on the action. Which means you'll receive another Chinky hook (I'm serious about not badmouthing this person. She is an awesome human being in real life for sticking with P to the end.) Part 3's up first and you gotta hand it to him, the man did not slack with his pen back then. At best, he comes off as a more subdued Prodigy, if that's even possible, although the bite in P's lyrics is just that much more venomous. Ty Nitty, widely known as the worst rapper in his trio comes with a verse that validates why he's regarded as such in the worst way possible. Thankfully, Big Twins, the best rhymer outta the three, set the track straight with his introspective thuggery, cut a bit too short to make way for a surprise Prodigy verse that closes the evening out. And guess what? He cleans house, making sure that you forget each and every lyric said before he stepped up to the microphone. So all in all, he will force you to enjoy this song.

MURDA MUZIK
The title track clearly sound s like it was recorded way back during the album's early development stages, as the P you hear here sounds very much like his Hell On Earth self. And as such, you now know that you're in for another Prodigy shutout over the very simple-yet-very effective Havoc beat. Seriously, this song has P locked in quotable mode as he spits a jaw-dropping 40 bars filled to the brim with that shit you're addicted to from him. Poor Havoc is left to pick up the pieces with a verse that embarrassingly pales in comparison. Oh well, still a dope-ass song.

THE REALEST (FEATURING KOOL G RAP)
The first song Alchemist played for Mobb deep, timelessly utilizing a short, sped-up Ecstasy, Passion & Pain loop. Now, I know that Prodigy thrives on these sounds and trust me, he does. Brilliantly so, even. And Havoc also uncharacteristically gives you a valiant contribution that ain't nothing to be sniffed at. But this is the Kool G Rap show all the fucking way. There is no way you'll be able to hear the Mobb's verses from your first time listening to this gem, because you'll be too busy picking up your jaw from the floor at G Rap's opening verse. No lie, even if the Mobb had been fucking terrible, I still cannot recommend this song to you enough simply on the strength of G Rap's timeless contribution. What's even more amazing is that he wrote his shit in a mere 45 minutes, then one-taked the shit and went about his merry way! By far, his most famous guest verse. As I said, though, Hav gave a very decent verse and P held his own against the legend very impressively, with his verse here among his own all-time favorite performances of his. And you'll damn sure love it, too. My favorite song on the album by a country goddamn mile.

U.S.A. (AIIGHT THEN)
Oh no. Very bad Mobb Deep. This ear rape is produced by the abysmal trio of Epitome, Shamello and hey! Budda! Welcome back to BBR, man! Long time no diss! Yeah, because this clubby shit is exactly what I wanted to hear the Mobb on! I was really fiendin to hear Prodigy give us an ass sing-songy hook, with some more shamefully thought-out floss spewing from our duo! Because Lord knows this album didn't have enough flossy shit on it! Yeah, they sure sounded in their element on this one! (If you can't tell, fuck this song.)

IT'S MINE (FEATURING NAS)
Well, this song might confuse you. On one hand, Hav's beat, sampling Giorgio Moroder's magnificent Scarface score, and P's verse here are bananas. On the other, Havoc and longtime collaborator Nas (in full Nastradamus-era descent) are absolutely cringeworthy with their lyrical contributions. Nas gets extra fuck you points for that hook. Why did he ever insist on singing on every goddamn song he made back then??!! You let P walk all over you, Esco, so you only got yourself to blame. All in all, yeah, a headscratcher, albeit one I like.

QUIET STORM (REMIX) (FEATURING LIL KIM)
Same beat, with an all-new P verse as well as added verses from Hav and Little Kimberly. Unfortunately, P's rhymes here achieve the exact opposite of what he did on the original, with bars that appear as if written by an 8-year old on quaaludes. Hav being his boring ass self, of course. As for Little Kimberly? I told you I'll come back to her and everyone lauding her contribution here: I couldn't give less of a roach's butthole how good she was here. That whore, along with her like, is the embodiment of misogyny in rap, and her "critically lauded" verse reflects that ever so shamelessly. Seriously, she can go fuck herself into oblivion for all I care. I also could give less of a flea crap what this remix did for Mobb Deep's popularity, the original is realities ahead of this garbage. Such a disappointment that you ended this album on such a low note, you two.

FINAL THOUGHTS
This album really illustrates the importance of knowing how to pick your singles, because without Quiet Storm it can drag, especially on the duo's forced attempts at reaching the club audience. And no, this putrid reach out was not exclusive to the final version of the album, because songs like USA (Aiight Then) were part of the bootlegged version! Not to say that Quiet Storm was the final album's lone high point, far from it. Some songs on here truly continue building on the Mobb's impressive hit rate successfully, with epic levels of chemistry between Hav's beats and P's lyrics. Side note: There's way too few Big Noyd bars on this shit. I am of the resolute belief that he brought out that little bit extra outta the Mobb back then, especially since, once again, he's the unofficial third Mobb member for my money. Back to P for a bit: Many people feel that this album, along with his debut more than a year later, are the last times where P lyrically contributed anything worthwhile. Now while fans like myself may argue that due to his exceptional material with the Alchemist later on, one thing can not be denied: Havoc definitely slacked on them boards first, producing beats that are so beneath him it's frustrating. But to his credit, Murda Muzik still had some serious heaters. Hell, two of my favorite songs on the effing thing, Adrenaline and especially Where Ya Heart At, are actually post-bootleg additions and among his finest beats ever. All in all, I truly believe that if you really want the clearest picture of just what makes Prodigy such a revered MC, aside from the albums I already reviewed, then Murda Muzik & HNIC should be treated strictly as companion pieces. That way, you'll accurately witness the glorious sunset of P's lyricism, highs and lows alike.

WORTH IT? The answer is a resounding: "Fuck yes", despite 8 of Murda Muzik's 17 songs being an earsore. You already craved that good P shit way before the legend passed, so you damn sure gonna need all the quality he put out now.

But the question you're asking yourself now is: "We've always heard word that the bootleg version trumps this one easily, and now you're telling us they're largely the same version?! Then what were all those fans of said bootleg talking about??!!"

TRACKS TO TRACK DOWN:
FEEL MY GAT BLOW
Well, songs like this, silly! This little gem, drafted after the album's bootleg to the OST of the surprisingly competent Slam flick nobody saw, houses one of the most relentless beats Havoc has ever composed. Granted, it ain't as sinister, but who the hell cares? This one will thump satisyingly well in your sound system of choice. The whole meal is made even sweeter with Hav's awesome hook. Both Mobb members showcase some infectious chemistry, with P naturally outshining Hav in a most convincing fashion. Question for the shithead who bootlegged Murda Muzik: Why wasn't Let A Ho Be A Ho leaked instead of this gem??!!

THRILL ME (FEATURING BIG NOYD)

People lamenting Pizza Dude's absence on Murda Muzik absolutely can not be more justified in this particular case, as this song is by no small margin the best motherfucking collaboration between the trio. Havoc brings you a fantastically claustrophobic instrumental upon which you witness P and Noyd unleashed at their very best. Sure, Hav tries to keep up as usual, but by now you're probably used to him getting left in the dust. Weird that Pizza Dude shouts out Where Ya Heart At when P mentioned it as an added track in his autobiography. At this point, you've already stopped caring about such analities as you bang this shit for the millionth time. If you were any type of Mobb fan at any point in your life, erasing this song from your brain is impossible.

MOBB OF STEEL (FEATURING BIG NOYD)

I know what I said in the previous paragraph. Since when did that mean I can't like other songs by these three? Once again, this is a beat from Hav that isn't hampered in the slightest just because it's not what you'd call dark. Which immediately reflects on all three involved as they launch into more of their BNB. Prodigy effectively establishes his dominance over the others in a way you've already read on this site so many times I sound  like a damn broken record. But the reality is heads face here is yes, he really was that damn good.

PYRAMID POINTS (FEATURING BIG NOYD)

Now this is straight up violence rap! Hav brings a melodic plodding instrumental that seems to give away a vibe of menace. All three members of the Mobb (because come on, look at how many tracks the duo did with Pizza Dude! You lumped RAGU together so why not these three?! What do you mean you don't feel like it?!) unleash their threats in an almost stream-of-consciousness ease, and their enthusiasm succeeds in selling you on the song, which is infinitely better than it has any right to be. Another joint better suited on the official version than friggin' Let A Ho Be A Ho.

THE PROFESSIONAL (FEATURING BIG NOYD)

Off of DJ Clue's album. Now I know that this isn't from the Murda Muzik sessions, but it damn well should be. Despite sounding otherwise, this song was not produced by Heavy Hav, but by Beatnut protégé the Almighty VIC. You may recognize his work on the magnificent Boomerang by Big Punisher. (I have a very soft spot for Armageddon's hook on that joint.) You'll hear P's verse. You'll enter a haze of lyrical bliss that will completely obscure Noyd and Hav's unfairly inferior rhymes from your mind, and you'll still love this song. Some satisfying shit, yo.

For more examples of why we loved P so fucking much, here. RIP Prodigy, man. This one'll hurt for a fucking while.