Mobb Deep - Juvenile Hell (April 13, 1993)

I'll bet you knew from the start of my previous review that I was heading into this direction, didn't you? You clairvoyant bastard, you.

So, yeah: What can I say about Mobb Deep that hasn't already been said by, seriously, every hip hop critic who ever existed? At least I was introduced to Mobb Deep when nobody gave a fuck about Mobb Deep anymore, so there's that. Hell, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who got his first exposure to the two dwarfs from their appearance in Def Jam: Fight For NY, a game that also introduced me to Sticky Fingaz (whom I embarrassingly didn't know was part of rap group Onyx of Throw Ya Gunz on Def Jam Vendetta fame) and a game I'm still quite fond of. On another embarrassing note, I originally thought Kejuan Muchita and Albert Johnson were simply Havoc & Prodigy, having no clue whatsoever of their group's infamous moniker. (see what I did there?) Then, the first song I heard from them was Shook Ones pt. II on GTA: Liberty City Stories (again paralleling my introduction to Da Balhedz) and it was a wrap from there. I gobbled down every Mobb song I later came across, all of which were conveniently from either The Infamous or Hell On Earth, their best album bar none. Side note: I've always hated Havoc the video game character more than Prodigy, but that's probably because of his tendency to beat the shit out of my created fighters, even though I'd eventually win every time.

So it's ironic that my sentiments there would be echoed on their rapping career, as well: I've always thought  that despite his appearances on Black Moon's 1993 classic Enta Da Stage and Tragedy's fucking slept-on gem that same year, Tragedy: Saga Of A Hoodlum, Kejuan, aka K, should've never picked up the microphone, but maybe it's simply because of how much of a lyrical beast Albert, or Bert, is. No lie, if I had an MC Hall Of Fame, Prodigy, or P as he'd like to call himself, would be a shoe-in. (Again, see what I did there?) Of course, his uncredited rhyming debut on the Hi-Five song Too Young (off the Boyz N The Hood OST) does not count. Havoc, (or as he'd like to call himself, Hav) on the other hand, would go into my DJ/producer Hall Of Fame, no question. Some of the musical backdrops son came up with are among the most atmospheric, gritty and straight up mind-blowing I'll ever hear in all of music. So, imagine my surprise when I found out that when these two midgets first started, P was more into production and Hav was more of an MC. Moreover, Hav helped P hone his lyrics, while P helped Hav hone his beatmaking. Truly, the world has gone mad.

Overacting aside, these two certainly didn't find their chemistry overnight. They had to work on it, which is completely out of the question in mainstream hip hop today. Actually, I take that back. Mainstream hip hop has always wanted the readymade and had no time for fostering talent, as exampled by my review subjects today. For their real debut, Juvenile Hell, was considered a failure by all who came across it. Their label, 4th & Broadway, threw our two protagonists out on the street the minute they saw numbers they didn't like, which tells you about their faith in their talent. Keep in mind that they directed every fucking step of the direction this album took, painting our duo in the troubled ghetto kids formula that was pretty wildfire back then. But was the album itself so bad?

I'll admit it right now: I believed all the bad talk about it for the longest time. I mean, everyone and their grandparents are still trashing this album. I thought: Why trouble myself with an insignificant chapter in these dudes' careers when Mobb Deep themselves don't even talk about it anymore? And yet I ask anyone who's pondering the same question to grow the hell up: You won't know if certain music will be a hit with you until you listen to it first. And on that note, anyone who's expecting a beta version of The Infamous should stop doing so, as this is an entirely different album. However that still doesn't necessarily mean it's bad.

Does it?

1. INTRO
God bless the days of my critical ignorance. When I didn't have to suffer through the fact that rap album intros are physical torture.

2. ME AND MY CREW
The first thing you think of when you hear the hook is these guys can't be the same dudes who wrote Shook Ones. Both first verses by K & Bert sound very elementary. Bert, however, wakes up noticeably with his second verse. Not so lucky with K, though. The production is handled by two Dale Hogan and Keith Spencer. The only other known production these two provided were two songs off of Kool Moe Dee's fifth album. Which was after he completely fell off, of course. All things considered, this was fairly good. Keda Productions (I swear to God, they actually called themselves that) effectively sample Miles Davis and Skull Snaps, providing a decent beat that'll catch you totally off guard if you've already burned The Infamous into your mind. But still, the song kind of works.

3. LOCKED IN SPOFFORD
Kerwin Young and Paul Shabazz present us with the first of quite the few productions on this album. Now, these two here are affiliates of Public Enemy's The Bomb Squad, so this should mean we're in good hands, right? Well, at least this song was decent, with unrecognizable samples of Joe Tex and Barry White. Hav finally finds his wits about him and delivers a serviceable verse, yet P still comes off more experienced than him. Huh. To be honest, I think since Hav wrote some of P's rhymes on this album, he's pretty fucking stupid to give him his good rhymes.

4. PEER PRESSURE
The lead single, produced by DJ Premier. I'm calling it like it is: This is one of the most laid-back Primo beats I've ever heard. It's an absolutely perfect beat for Guru (R.I.P.) to spit on, but Mobb Deep? Hell no. It simply sounds like the two shitstains didn't even record their lyrics to the same beat. I'll get back to that later. But yeah, this was definitely a misfire.

5. SKIT #1
..

6. HOLD DOWN THE FORT
Hav's production debut. Leaps and bounds ahead of anything on the album so far. Allow me to mention that no hook on this entire album is any good. However, P, or Cellblock P, sounds like he began transforming into the lyrical monster we know on this very record, and Hav, or Heavy Hav is all the more energized for it. This was kind of awesome.

7. BITCH ASS N****
Unlike this shit. I don't have to exert any effort in reaching the following conclusion: This is a song where Kejuan wrote all the rhymes for sure. Why? Because both MCs' lyrics are absolute barf, that's why. It doesn't help that the Kerwin/Shabazz beat sounds like cowdung, if cowdung made sounds.

8. HIT IT FROM THE BACK
Despite Bert and Method Max (!!!) producing a fairly decent beat, the constant 'From the back' audio clip prevalent throughout the beat and the sex raps on here relegate the song to dead ass status. Easily the worst song on this album so far. And you know what? I'm perfectly fine with Mobb Deep releasing a dead ass sex rap as a contractual obligation earlier on in their career. Because I know that these two got better later on. Much better.

9. SKIT #2
You already know.

10. STOMP EM OUT
The second best beat on the entire album is ironically produced by Cellblock P. Our duo bring out the only guest appearance on the entire album, their future longtime collaborator Tajuan Perry aka Big Noyd aka Pizza Dude, who would greatly eclipse his great showing here on Mobb Deep's next album. Another song where P sounds like he wrote his own rhymes, which is always a good thing. Another pretty damn good song, even with the patois that came out of nowhere.

11. SKIT #3
Let me get some french fries with that, please. Oh, I forgot the audio-text converter was still on. Whoops!

12. PEER PRESSURE (THE LARGE PROFESSOR MIX)
Remember how I said that our two protagonists sounded like they didn't spit their lyrics on the same beat in the original? Well, it turns out I'm right. You see, Large Professor stated in an interview a while back that the mix that he provides here is the original mix and the DJ Premier version is actually the remix. Nice work fucking with our perceptions, 4th & Broadway! Anyway, it certainly sounds like the original version as our hosts' delivery is perfectly on beat. Now that I can properly listen to the song, I can digest the fact that K wrote Bert's first verse, not his second. Simply because the second is a tremendous step up in quality over the rest of the song. But K wasn't half-bad, actually. Add that to the fact that Large Professor produced a beat that will smack you in your fucking face. The way he sampled the beautiful flute notes of Bobbi Humphrey's Black and Blue is absolute wizardry. All in all, I loved the end product here.

13. PROJECT HALLWAYS
The Kerwin/Shabazz combo returns with a smorgasbord of a beat that samples the famous bass notes of Grover Washington's Hydra. Not quite that ingenious Public Enemy smorgasbord, yet not that bad either. Cellblock P tackles the beat with lyrics that are the closest to his Infamous-era wizardry, so far, and Heavy Hav comes with the energy he exhibited on Black Moon's U Da Man & his Tragedy cameos that very year. This was another one for the good, but the hook was especially bad here.

14. FLAVOR FOR THE NON BELIEVES
The fuck is the 'Non-Believes'?! K’s writing wastes a perfectly banging Kerwin/Shabazz beat. One that samples The Meters and James Brown to blood-pumping effect. The thing that gets me every time about Kejuan is his absolute refusal to deviate from bragging and threats, nor does he expand his writing to make it the least bit interesting when he's threatening you. Poor Albert gets dragged down with his partner, although starting from the next album, all was about to change.

FINAL THOUGHTS: No, goddamn it. This is not comparable to The Infamous. It's not even remotely close. But was this the failure everyone keeps lambasting? Fuck no. For their very first outing, the Mobb did extremely well with the hand they were dealt. Sure, Hav didn't know his way around the boards yet, and P was just starting to figure out he was nice with the pen, but overall they did the best they could at the time & their efforts pay off rather nicely sometimes. I get why they don't talk about this album anymore, but maybe they should. If anything, simply to showcase how to recognize one's strengths and truly realize one's potential.

WORTH IT? Probably not. But if you can select the songs you want, there's some good shit to listen to here. I'm being completely honest. Although 4 skits and 4 really sewage tracks isn't a good look for a 14 track album.

TRACKS TO TRACK DOWN:
COP HELL
Bummed that DJ Premier wasted that Peer Pressure song? Well, this song is most definitely for you. By contrast, Primo here constructs a beat that even Melachi The Useless Fucking Nutcracker can body. So it's only right that both generals of the Mobb go the fuck in with their scathing attack on the Boys In Blue. This shit would've fit on Ice Cube's Death Certificate, if Cube was a teenaged dwarf from Queensbridge, NY. It's that good. Albeit, still not as good as anything on The Infamous.

May I tempt you with some more Mobb Deep?