Method Man - Tical 2000: Judgement Day (November 10, 1998)

So 1997 happened for the Wu-Tang Clan. Wu-Tang Forever dropped, and it was their biggest album. This feral specimen of virility also thinks that it's their best album to date. You'll probably hear me repeating this in the bathroom, too. I digress.

Naturally the Wu's Abbott, one Bobby Diggs bka RZA has stated by then that, since the famed '5-year plan' ended in success, his dictatorial control over the various Wu generals is effectively done. Now, everyone in the group is free to direct their career moves whichever way they see fit. You can probably guess what happened next: Everyone in the Clan veered off into various directions of the hip hop spectrum fully convinced that they were owed time in the spotlight, and RZA wouldn't lift a finger. So if, say, Cappadonna wanted to treat most of the studio sessions RZA payed for him as sessions of absolute debauchery where he'd be so far gone by the time his sessions are up that only option left for his stupid ass is to record some utter psychobabble and pass it off as rhymes, RZA would simply stand there and watch it happen. I know that description was too on the nose, but I'm trying to make a point here. In retrospect, mainstream hip hop media considers this period to be the beginning of the Wu's decline from relevancy. And the very first album blamed for such decline on such a large scale was Cliffy Cliff Smif's Tical 2000.

Don't get it twisted, Cliffy bka the mighty Method Man has fully lived up to his status as the face of the Wu, a status he actually didn't want until his brethren forced it upon him. The dude debuted on a straight up classic friggin' album, followed that up with another classic friggin' album and was one of the cameo kings of the mid-90s, appearing on multiple classic collaborations with many an artist of similar stature, most notably with Reggie Noble aka DJ Kut Killa bka the mighty Redman of the Hit Squad  (You read right. I said Hit Squad.) who was a cameo king himself and meshed together with Mef so well that they made it official and formed a duo. Back on Mef for a bit: Despite what he thinks, his form was at its best on Wu-Tang Forever, ripping the shit outta any instrumental that came his way. His sword was so sharpened that everybody, inside the Clan and out, wanted to work with him. And he was equally enthused to collaborate, almost as if he depended on the very nature of collaboration to bring the best outta him.

Which was exactly the beef the media had with this album. They have grown so accustomed to consuming his products within collaborative environments that they subconsciously shut out anything else. Even Tical, if we're being totally honest here, is simply a collaboration album with RZA. And that means that this album represented the very first time where Mef was truly a solo artist. And his thematic choice here might make more sense than you think.

So, if whomever reading this who is, in fact, not a fetus remembers correctly, NY hip hop in the mid-90s had two predominant themes: one was mafioso rap, upheaved by Raekwon's Purple Tape. The other was the obsession with the apocalypse, the genesis of which is unknown to me at the moment. The point is Wu-Affiliates like Sunz Of Man and the Gravediggaz  (like it or not, they're Wu-Affiliates by this point.)  have already dabbled in said theme. And being that Mef is around these guys for most of his early career, it's only natural that he gets a few drops of inspiration from them in this theme. Add that to the fact that he was constantly around dudes like Onyx & Busta Rhymes, whom have both released albums reflecting their own obsession with the end of the world, and this direction was almost a foregone conclusion. Of course, the Def Jam fuckfaces he was signed to may have also had a hand in influencing him but I'll gladly rob them of any credit they deserve. As one might expect, this led to Mef releasing the album's lead single one month before it was released. And back then, he could get away with that shit for the simple fact that word of mouth actually mattered back then. None of this 'social media' bullshit where everyone can overdose on the quick fix and move on to something else. When Method Man promoted something, many were interested.

Now when Mef first came out, he became famous for going out of his way to introduce absolute nobodies on his album. Hell, he almost put on RA The Rugged Man (tka Crustified Dibbs) years before anybody ever heard of him. As a result, Wu stans everywhere have become very familiar with dudes like rappers Carlton Fisk & Patrick Charles bka Streetlife. Hell, Streetlife became an official Wu General on the strength of that favor. Pity Carlton Fisk was locked up for a long ass time back then, or else I fully believe that he would've taken the exact same route, if not outright replace Streetlife. For I distinctly remember RZA being bigger on Fisk. Lemons of life n'all. It was once again an act of kindness from Mef's part that lead to Streetlife appearing on an exact third of this album's songs. (And they shout Carlton Fisk out here. Mef can be such a sweetheart sometimes. *evil sneer*) This obviously leads to Streetlife and Mef becoming inseparable, a beautiful brotherhood that has lasted to this very day, where you'll probably see Streetlife whenever Red & Mef swing by your town.

Despite what the media was saying about the album, Tical 2000 was a commercial smash, selling one million copies stateside in one month, yet another statement of the Wu brand's strength then. I will admit that for the longest, I fully bought into the backlash and steered clear from this album. Time to see if I regretted my decision or not.

Tical 2000: Judgement Day boy/girl (pick one):

JUDGEMENT DAY (INTRO)

Yeah, so Y2K, end of the world n'shit...

PERFECT WORLD

RZA debuts his first of four productions on this album. His digital beat is paranoid enough to inspire Mef to deliver two verses chock full of grim imagery, as well as continuing down the route of introspection that he began on albums like Liquid Swords. Add that to the fact that his flow hasn't skipped a beat, and this becomes one hell of a reintroduction. The overall combination actually does a phenomenal job setting the album's intended atmosphere up nicely. Salute, Cliffy.

CRADLE ROCK (FEATURING LEFT EYE & BOOSTER)

Some dude called LB Da Life Bringa pulls a Darnell Scott on the unsuspecting public, his lone contribution to music being this banging-ass beat. The instrumental, briefly sampling Bright Tomorrow, sounds epic enough and is an absolute perfect fit after Perfect World. Mef clearly understands that as he barrels through with yet another two verses filled with apocalyptic imagery that riddled the previous song . RIP Left Eye, she & Bring The Pain mainstay Booster played their roles something lovely. Left Eye sounds especially invested on hook duties and, although I'm not the best person to ask about her portfolio, I'm quite certain this is one of her more aggressive outings, which makes me a happy man. 2 outta 2.

DANGEROUS GROUNDS (FEATURING STREETLIFE)

This was the b-side to the lead single, which we’ll discuss later and… Ah yes, Derrick Harris aka Savior of The Pillage bka True Master debuts his first of five productions on the album. Now we know what this guy can do with a dude like Cappadonna, so we'll see what he brings to the table when Mef and fellow album debutant Streetlife are locked, loaded and ready to smack fire out ya bitch ass. He does not disappoint, choosing to bring a vintage Wu-sound composition that sounds like two metal pillars clanging into each other. For their part, Mef chooses to lodge Street's epic verse right between his three epic verses. For his part, Street really came into his own on Wu-Tang Forever and this song continues his form. Mr. Sandman first showed how these two play off each other. Spoiler alert: They do so very well, and this song successfully continues that tradition. This did so well that it was actually released as the 2nd single

SWEET LOVE (SKIT)

In an infuriatingly recurring theme throughout this album, the momentum established by a group of songs is stopped dead in its tracks by a misplaced skit. Cliffy? What the fuck?

SWEET LOVE (FEATURING STREETLIFE & CAPPADONNA)

True Master produces this abortion of a track as well, although it ain't really his fault that it's an abortion. Nope, the ire of the masses should be directed at Cliffy, Paddy & Oh Donna for the most misplaced sex rap since Maria off the Forever double album. I guess it's fitting that Oh Donna would choose this song as the lone track he blesses with his sewage. And believe me, Mef-N-Street sound equally as bad here. If this song was a person I'd rip his spine outta his nostrils.

SHAOLIN WHAT

Yes, I know the tracklist says this is a skit, but it's just so much more. Selwyn Bogard bka Killarmy’s 4th Disciple provides a smacking beat that continues to exhibit his mastery of the art of production. And Mef simply excels when provided such beats, giving a short intro that redirects your focus on the thematic settings and gets the fuck outta the way as the drum break chews its way through your physical. He then unleashes a fiery one-verse wonder chock-full of his trademark punchlines. Hindsight being 20/20, this should've opened the album. Still, this short but oh so sweet track washed the preceding garbage outta my ear. 

TORTURE

Now, I really don't get how anal some of y'all fans get: This was one of the most shit upon tracks on this album, and for the life of me I just don't see it. To prove it, let's break it down: A brooding True Master beat that completely fits the album's overall aesthetic so far? Check. One of Mef's best lyrical displays ever where he further emphasizes on his newfound introspection, while matching said beat's atmosphere skillfully? Check. What more do you fuckfaces want?!

WHERE'S METHOD MAN? (SKIT)

Now this is what I was talking about. While I love Ed Lover, I just hate the fact that this skit has no place whatsoever on this album. Truly a waste of his talents. Sorry, Mef, but it is what it is.

SUSPECT CHIN MUSIC (FEATURING STREETLIFE)

The b-side to the 3rd single, the upcoming Break Ups 2 Makeups. RZA's back behind the boards and somehow Mef has succeeded in bringing out the best of his newly-found digital approach to production, providing Mef-N-Street with one of the few beats lauded by everyone ever since. Our duo successfully utilize it to show off just how well they work together, bouncing off each other effortlessly with enough punchlines and grimy imagery befitting of Tical 2000's concept to wet the most hardcore boom bap fan's appetite for a full collaboration album between these two. I assure you, this combo is up there with the RAGU's and the Red-N-Mef's. This song is that good. Why didn't Streetlife get a solo deal in 1998, again? Especially when he was heavily featured on the b-sides?

RETRO GODFATHER

The final RZA production on the album is a straight up jacking of a Montana loop that serves as an unabashed homage to 70s disco, and the loop actually fits the album given that it's inspired by Close Encounters Of The Third Kind. Anyways, so Mef starts with a Denroy Morgan interpolation as the hook. Cliffy, I don't think anyone's confusing your intention for this to be anything but a 70s tribute, so chill. The rest is two verses of Mef being himself to the fullest and that's perfectly fine with me. He keeps his rhymes in check so that the album's theme isn't disrupted too much. Amazing song, although Suspect Chin Music is my favorite outta the three RZA productions we got.

DOONEY BOY (SKIT)

I actually see how such a personal 10- second recording of Mef's son chatting with his father can follow the previous song, so I don't really gripe that much about this particular skit. Although it remains perfectly skippable.

SPAZZOLA (FEATURING STREETLIFE, MASTA KILLA, INSPECTAH DECK, KILLA SIN & RAEKWON)

The lone Wu-Element besides RZA to hold Wu General status, Inspectah Deck, debuts his first of two beats on the album. And it breaks his hot streak, although I'm not saying it's a bad instrumental. I concede however that it can get a bit grating to some people, on account of Deck looping the most droning Aretha Franklin piano sample. Shame, really, as it's very clear that he and the rest of the Wu lineup featured here intended the song to be, as Masta Killa states, Deadly Melody part 2. Believe me, their BNB rhymes reflect that intention pretty clearly. And yet Deck still finds a way to steal the song with one line: 'Heads are under siege down to the youngest seeds'. Nice! Also, Killa Sin finally catches wreck amidst a slew of Wu Generals, sounding right at home doing so. His similarities with Raekwon are further focused on here with the Chef following him back to back. Other highlights include Mef interpolating Frukwan on the hook. Don't know how this song fits the album's overall picture, though

CHECK WRITER (SKIT)

Now, this is a return to bullshit land, instead of getting on with the album's theme. I didn't need to hear Lyor Cohen's bitchass pathetically pretend to be the mad Def Jam figurehead chastising Mef for the delay. According to these skits, this album should be called Tical 2000: Can't Believe This Shit Dropped Day. Cliffy, what the fuck? Just in case my sentiments are clear enough: It's FUCK Lyor Cohen all day round here!

YOU PLAY TOO MUCH (SKIT)

Now this skit, I can't really blame Mef for. Because I'm old enough to remember how people listened to cassettes back then. They actually appreciated skits that bookend each side. And this skit is done by the skit-master himself, Prince Paul. He actually utilizes Mef and a Chris Rock who was at his peak and wasn't yet too big to appear on hip hop albums. While the skit remains funny, it still doesn't fit the album's theme in any way possible. Therefore, it remains a very skippable skit.

PARTY CRASHER

The final RZA beat on the album, and it's a damn digital snoozefest. I suppose he gave Mef this beat to mirror the hazy sense of stupor that Mef was aiming for in his story, which is admittedly pretty detailed. Shame that RZA's beat didn't really fit the tale, unlike the original beat done for this song by True Master, bless him. The original was a vastly superior type of clunky, one which we could've enjoyed and one that could've fit the album's concept. Alas, those pesky sample issues rear their ugly rear end once again. You can find the original version easily on the web so git.

GRID IRON RAP (FEATURING STREETLIFE)

Remember the Dangerous Grounds song reviewed above? This beat has the exact same attributes, only executed much better this time. True Master surely wasn't half-assing his duties to this album's theme. Mef-N-Street up the ante on what they did on Suspect Chin Music. This time, you can feel the lyrical blows as they bludgeon the beat to death with their punchlines, up until the point where the instrumental actually flatlines after their performance. Streetlife is on a mission to prove he belongs in the Wu's lineup and, with performances like this, you'll be inclined to believe him worthy. Their best track together, bar none.

STEP BY STEP

Remember how I told you Mef hooked up with Red? Turns out he was immediately welcomed into Red's crew at the time, Erick Sermon's Def Squad (literally a Hit Squad offshoot.) That association came with its benefits for sure, one of which was the production services of Erick Sermon, the lone member of EPMD who continued to invest in his production abilities, for better or for worse. Well, mostly better back then, because this shit's funky as all fuck. E-Dub samples Preem's scratching on Gang Starr's classic single Step In The Arena off its eponymous album while providing a bouncy beat for Mef to catch wreck on with his punchline game. Boy/Girl, he delivers. This was awesome.

PLAY IV KEEPS (FEATURING STREETLIFE, INSPECTAH DECK, MOBB DEEP & HELL RAZAH)

From one 90s production giant to another as Mobb Deep repay Mef's cameo on Extortion off their best album Hell On Earth. Mef is so ecstatic he jumps on Havoc's beat first and does his best Mobb Deep impression. Typically, he pulls it off as he's in his comfort zone: collaborating with other artists. And since Hav produced the beat and it's 1998, the Mobb feel right at home and proceed to wreck shop reflecting such. Deck shows up again and he & Streetlife also share Mef's collaborative spirit here, with their rhymes delivering on what's expected from them. Pity both were so short though. The only minor downside is the hook by Sunz Of Man's Hell Razah, which sounds how a carton feels. Overall, three dope tracks in a row so far.

DONALD DRUMPF (SKIT)

I can only wish to know what Cliffy thinks about this decision. And I don't really care if I brought out the ancestral name.

SNUFFED OUT (STREETLIFE)

DJ Mathematics gives you his lone beat on the album, and I can't really decide whether it's a worthy contribution or an effective sleep aid. It's somewhere in between. Maybe it's due to the Chambers Brothers sample being so boring. Anyway, Streetlife is left alone in the booth for the very first time in mainstream recording history. And, like the beat, it's very hard for me to decide whether the one-verse tale of former friends beefing is skilled or a paint-by-numbers clone of D'Evils by Jay-Z. I guess I can only say it somehow fits Tical 2000's aesthetic. Yay?

ELEMENTS (FEATURING STAR & POLITE)

For his second & final production on Tical 2000, Deck gives you a skillful chopping of a Dionne Warwick record. Maybe he did it to spite the anti-rap figure. Anyway, this was the beat you should've used for Spazzola, Jason. It's way too valuable to waste on just one Wu member who isn't you. For Mef is so out of American Cream Team members Polite & Star's league, it's not even funny. And if we're being really whiny here, Jason should've kept this beat, Spazzola's lyrics and hogged them for his own album, but that's a story for another time. I will say, though, that Mef's dedication to the apocalyptic concept is unwavering, and him choosing a beat like this & rhyming the way he did shows that.

KILLIN' FIELDS

Mef turns to True Master for the last time on the album for a one-song Mad Max movie, where Derrick decorates the track with a Bloodstone sample that allows Mef to let his punchlines take center stage. It all works, of course, as Mef yet again proves his doubters wrong and delivers another fantastic solo track. By this point, I have to point out the lack of merit of a vast majority of the criticisms I've come across regarding this album.

BIG DOGS (FEATURING REDMAN)

So, this can really be considered a full Def Squad track, given Mef's newfound status as Red's brother-in-arms. E-Dub's sampling of the Ohio Players unleashes Redman for the first of many times featuring on a Mef album. As one would expect by this point, these two's chemistry is addictively potent, with each one trying to come up with a wittier line than the other. I will say, though, that Mef loses a smidge of points for allowing the Def Squad influence to overcome him, when his own style was perfectly fine, but that's really a minor nitpick. Dope track. Interestingly, this was released as a double b-side, a “Month of the Man special”, to the title track lead single.

BREAK UPS 2 MAKE UPS (FEATURING D'ANGELO)

Trackmasters. We meet again. Seriously, Poke & Tone were everywhere back in the late 90s dishing out mainstream appeal to whomever was looking for it. Combine that with a D'Angelo feature back when the demand for his services was molten lava, and you have the perfect radio pandering play recipe. Did I mention that this song was supposed to be a bid to capitalize on All I Need's monster success? So how did the end product fair, might y'all ask? The song… was actually pretty good. Gasp! But how? Well, Mef decided for once to lean into the sex symbol image he seemingly abhors and fully dedicated himself to writing a track about a cheating ex-lover who feels jealous of Meg’s new relationship. He actually commits, boy/girl, and the results are commendable. I don’t feel any type of way towards D’Angelo’s performance, who apparently can do no wrong in the eyes of the masses. I’ll even say that his inclusion fits the song’s theme perfectly. Interestingly, Quran Goodman bka Q-Ball from Da Youngtsas contributed to the track. I will say that Q can come up with the odd timeless joint, like Bloodshed & War with Mobb Deep. I end this gargantuan paragraph with the one major gripe I have with this song: It doesn’t fit the theme of the album, at all which unfortunately leaves it sticking out like a sore thumb thereby emphasizes the fact that it was a cash grab by the fuckfaces at Def Jam. Le sigh.

MESSAGE FROM PENNY (SKIT)

Another bullshit skit, this time shoving the absolutely irrelevant fact that Cliffy is on speaking terms with Janet Jackson down your helpless throat. GROAN.

JUDGEMENT DAY

The title track and the lead single. 4th Disciple is chosen by Mef to co-produce alongside him, and the result is admittedly one of the weirdest beats I ever heard. Maybe this is why Mef stuck to MCing from that point forward. Mef spits three verses, all of which he already debuted on a certain duet with Scottish band Texas. Alas, their basic nature is somehow a plus for this song. Well, until you arrive at the fact that Mef repeats his first verse for the third. Now, this wasn't something new in hip hop: Among other examples, Large Professor already did this with his solo debut single Mad Scientist. Difference between the two songs is that LP was rhyming his ass off on his first two verses, something I can honestly say that Mef wasn't doing. Very unfortunate, that. Overall this song serves its purpose.

C.E.O.UTRO

Ten seconds of the now-excommunicated Russell Simmons saying absolutely nothing. Vital to your spiritual well-being, this.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Yeah, why do people still bash this album again? Sure the skits are overkill and there's approximately four tracks that drag the intelligence level of the human race down a couple of notches but other than that, a Judgment Day album from fucking Method Man is exactly what you got. He actually committed throughout the majority of the album to said concept, without compromising the Wu sound everyone still expected from him. Every Wu-Element he called in brought something to the table that kept the aesthetic intact, with True Master taking the lion's share once again. All this album needed was a lack of compromise from the labels, and this would be right up there with his debut. Having said this, I was able to come to such an appreciation only because I listened to this on my iPod, where I could delete any unwanted nuisance (Yep! No skits!) from the proceedings to my heart's content. I say that now knowing full well that said luxury was not an option if you owned this on cassette & vinyl. You had to suffer through the despicable orange cheeto in charge's bit along with the rest of the nuisances. And I don't know how many people owned this on CD, neither, because they could skip them shits easy. Maybe that's why so many people hate the shit? Because they can't skip through the skits? I dunno. All things considered, I will still maintain that Tical 2000 is for sure the second-best album in Mef's discography. And when you take into consideration that he and he alone bore its creative weight, you'll be faced with the reality that this is his true solo debut, because RZA wasn't holding his hand every step of the way this time. And as such, this was a smashing success.

WORTH IT? If you can see, read and comprehend the last sentence, then I think you have your answer. If not, surely you must be a Lil Yachty fan.

TRACKS TO TRACK DOWN:

IT'S IN THE GAME (FEATURING RICKY WATTERS)

Another weird combination, courtesy of the NFL Jams album. I already reviewed a track Ghostface Killah did with Andre Rison here in which he debuted his awesome rapport with DJ Mathematics. Now it's Mef's turn with him flaunting his True Master connection well with his trademark grim punchlines. True Master appreciates the look as well because he gives you a beat that's as strong and clanging as anything he's done throughout Tical 2000. I feel an obligation to warn you, though, of the impending doom that is Ricky Watters' verse. Seriously though, his shit is so laughably atrocious you might even catch yourself adlibbing said ordure. And we're done.

For more on Iron Lung, hit this.

Cappadonna - The Pillage (March 12, 1998)

I'll be totally honest with you: I don't care about Darryl Hill bka Cappadonna (aka Cappachino The Great aka Papi Wardrobe aka Oh Donna aka that dude who almost ruined Wu-Tang Forever aka he who was kicked out of the Wu camp for a long time and had to resort to driving a goddamn cab until he got back into the Clan's good graces) anymore. Well, that's a bit of a stretch, as I do pay attention to what he has to offer as the official tenth member of the Wu-Tang Clan. But what I meant was that his solo career is chock full of useless gibberish, it's almost as if the dude goes in the booth and rambles whatever comes to mind, then goes to eat vegan pizza or some other hipster bullshit. But of course, this was hardly the case in 1997.

Back then, Cap actually appeared to have the potential to be a respected lyricist and for all intents and purposes it appeared that he was on his way to becoming one. I mean, just look at his debut on Raekwon's Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... and his extensive features on Ghostface Killah's Ironman & the crew's aforementioned magnum opus. Apart from a few songs, each guest appearance he made was better than the next. Add in his work on OSTs like High School High and The Great White Hype and dude was set to blow.

None of this explains, however, how he managed to secure proper management backing from the RZA, the founder of the Wu, ahead of infinitely more proven members like Inspectah Deck or Masta Killa. It was RZA's decision to greenlight Deck signing to Loud Records after Raekwon succeeded there, which was the main reason Deck's album suffered numerous delays until that dreaded flood hit RZA's basement and ruined so many opportunities. It was RZA's decision to completely forget about Masta Killa's solo career, feeding him only bits and crumbs like Bounty Killer features and that Shaolin Temple track off the Clan's video game CD. Do I sound bitter, because you bet your hemorrhoid-ridden rusty sheriff badge, I am. End rant.

Alas, Cap was the one who received the nod of trust via signing to RZA's vanity label Razor Sharp Records. And by God, did it show on the boards. This album was a Wu-Element affair back-to-back, with RZA himself contributing five tracks. That's the total of beats that the sophomores of cousins GZA & ODB received combined. (What chance did Inspectah Deck's debut really have?!) So you know he expected big things from this project. Now, RZA may’ve done five beats on this thing, but the true star of this album was one East New York native Derrick Harris bka True Master who's also an original Gang Starr Foundation member. (Bet you didn't know that, did you? What do you mean it's been on the Internet forever?!)

If you remember my previous post, you'd recall me saying that Killarmy's debut Silent Weapons For Quiet Wars was, I believe my quote was, "an exemplary showcase" for fellow Wu-Element 4th Disciple. Well, I am here to argue that my subject here is likewise for True Master. Derrick's relationship with Cap started on Fish, an album cut from Ironman, continued on Heaterz from Wu Forever until it finally arrived at Cap's debut single, Slang Editorial. Trust me when I say that Wu fans gobbled it up. The single's success led Razor Sharp to issue a few more singles before unleashing The Pillage on the masses.

The Pillage then did the unthinkable: It sold five hundred thousand units in one month, which is equivalent to doing Kanye numbers in the present market. Time for you to find out if it deserves such a success.

SLANG EDITORIAL
I wish every single rapper in existence would do what Cap & co. do here: Start the album with your actual lead single. It's the song that convinced people to check for your pretentious ass, any bitching way. So, this track signifies the advent of True Master. True, he's done some absolute magic on songs like Fish & Heaterz, but here the focus is on him and Cap front & center. And you better believe True Mas' delivers in spades: The OV Wright samples are tweaked just enough for them to sound vintage Wu. Trust me, this beat is 5-year-plan type of awesome. For his part, Cap has no choice but to deliver: His opening line was even famously bit by one  Shawn Cory Carter on Renagade. Some of y’all out there might’ve heard of dude. (I don't get the love for that song at all. The original version, Renegades featuring Royce da 5'9? Now that was a classic song.) Back to Cap, though, as he riddles his verse with lyrical shots that, upon further inspection, sound dope as shit. Seriously, hop yourself over to Rap Genius and search this song. You'd be gobsmacked at what you find.

PILLAGE (FEATURING SOLOMON CHILDS)
Goldfinghaz, of Never Gonna Come Back fame (to me anyway), debuts his first of three tracks on The Pillage, and he does OK. The first voice you hear here is Solomon Childs, and he will impress the fuck outta you with his 32 bar-verse. Props to his line: 'I'm trying to walk these dogs, but I'm a dog myself'. However, this is where the lyrical decline of Cappadonna first rears its ugly head on this album, because by God, does he sound like barf on here. Darryl? Flowerpot-head? Read the following very carefully: It's performances like this that invite the ire of hip hop fans worldwide. Including some hate almost 20 years later from a man living in friggin' Saudi Arabia.

RUN

The second single. RZA produced this beat and it's considered one of the finer examples of his 'digital orchestra' phase. That being said, um, why in the motherfuck does Cappadonna suck so goddamn bad here again? What qualities on God's green Earth has True Master, a mere Wu-Element, displayed as a producer through pulling the very best outta Cap so far that the architect of the 5-yr plan's timeless sound doesn't have, HUH?! The tale that Darryl spins is one flimsy-ass display of storytelling, punctuated by his newfound & complete disregard for the beat. What makes this song even worse is that this crap goes on for three full verses, making the track seem like a bloody eternity. If this song was a person, I'd take a dump on their car.

BLOOD ON BLOOD WAR (FEATURING SOLOMON CHILDS)
RZA produced this track as well, and unlike his previous contribution, this is an all-out shitshow, top to bottom. This beat sounds like a lullaby RZA made for ODB's babies when he was playing babysitter. Oh who are we kidding? Even that joke ain't funny. That's how bad this song is, as a whole. Even poor Solomon Childs is stuck on hook duties and thereby ensuring that this song's status as being gorilla manure top-to-bottom. Your ears never stood a chance, dear reader.

SUPA NINJAZ (FEATURING GOLDEN ARMS & METHOD MAN)
Oh yes! True Master returns with one thigh-slapper of a beat, best believe. What's more, he somehow does the unthinkable and makes you believe again, for a fleeting second, that Cap is a lyrical threat. It may also help that Golden Arms is in that Wu Forever form of his, resulting in his patented negative capability making a grandiose return here. Oh, and Mef is in that form of his where he obliterates everyone on the song with him, so there's that. This is so good it'll make you forget all about Cap's performance on the three preceding tracks. Props to Rae and Mef for their Body Rock tribute, and is that ODB in the background?!

MCF
RZA's back, and you know what that means. Actually, this song is the single most infuriating track on the entire album. We've already established that Cap without a True Mas' beat by this point is straight up hog menses, but the fact that RZA wasted such an awesome instrumental on such an incompetent lyrical performance from our host will guarantee you winning your next sumo spar. I already know you weigh 40 kg tops. Here's me not giving a rat's ass. An added incentive to violate your opponent's innards is the thought of what Inspectah Deck would've done to this beat back then, and the realization that this possibility is forever gone because of RZA's boneheaded backing of Darryl's worthless solo endeavor. I hope someone smacks RZA in the face hard after forcing him to realize what a huge travesty he has caused here. And I hope someone smacks Cap hard in the face for the very fact that he's Cap.

SPLISH SPLASH
True Master sits behind the boards once again, in what is becoming a pattern so far, and unearths a masterful beat from a Lyn Collins record that has since become a Wu sample mine, as various Wu-Elements including RZA himself, have created many a masterpiece from said source. And again, True Mas' brings out the Cap everyone wants to hear in yet another one-verse-wonder that is dope as all hell. Again, how the fuck did you do this, Derrick?

OH-DONNA (FEATURING GHOSTFACE KILLAH)
DJ Mathematics, the Clan's official DJ for more than 20 years, continues his awesome relationship with GFK on here, bringing his take on the 'digital orchestra' to the forefront while GFK torches the beat to kingdom come. Nice work, all y'all. What do you mean, I'm forgetting somebody? Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I have a very selective memory and sometimes, wackass rhymes that aren't worth the time of any creature walking this planet tend to slip my mind. (Captain Obvious time: *In a sing-songy voice* This song is the reason why everyone calls Darryl Oh Donna.)

MILK THE COW (FEATURING METHOD MAN)
Now this piece of work right here could've been called Fish Pt.2 and I wouldn't bat an eyelash. Why? Because this is, by no small margin, the peak of Cappadonna's solo career. Similar to what he did on Fish, True Master (he really earns that nickname here, lemme tell ya) takes multiple excerpts from a venerated OV Wright record and arranges them to make for an original composition that can still be considered an interpolation of said OV Wright record. Trust me, it's not easy to sound both original and attributing at the same time, yet True Mas' makes it seem like an effing breeze. Of course, you don't need me to point out that this accomplishment reflected on Cap, as well. The rapper you here on this track sounds like a proper MC, twisting and turning between punchlines, metaphors and imagery effortlessly. Props to Mef for once again blessing the world with yet another gorgeous hook. This track will be a favorite of yours and will get stuck in your head for days.

SOUTH OF THE BORDER
Another RZA abortion. And the disappointments keep on flowing as he gets on the keys this time and blesses Cap with not one, but two beats. The second one has an iller-than-ill violin sample that will stick itself neatly in your head for quite some time, as you continue sobbing at how RZA is keeping Deck from devouring these beats while Darryl keeps flying into another one of his putrid tangents. Cap spins a fictional tale about a day in his life filled to the brim with attempts of imagery a la Ghostface. This track may be the best argument against Cap's comparisons with P.Tone. Another skip.

CHECK FOR A N****
4th Disciple, the other original Wu-Element besides True Master, brings the Killarmy steez with him in the lone beat he contributed to the Pillage. (I mean, the dude's sanity had limits, right?) However, when you've made it this far in the album, it'd serve you best to think of True Master as the horse traquilizer to Cappadonna's wild boar. Whenever he ain't around, it's gonna be a problem. And not the good kind. So, seeing as 4th Disciple isn't True Master, you're treated to yet another crapfest from our "star". Yeah, chant the song's dumb-as-fuck title more seventy gobijazillion times, Darryl. That'll make everyone forget just how bad you're pissing away your solo career, pissing away RZA's investment in you and pissing in every doomed ear that ever had the misfortune of listening to this tub of llama urine. Rapefuck this song.

DART THROWING (FEATURING RAEKWON & METHOD MAN)
True Master's final beat on the album. You know what that means. This gave the Milk The Cow beat a run for its money, I'm telling you. The fact that he constructed such a masterpiece from a single-second loop sampled from an obscure Hong Kong action flick only adds to the quality of this beat, and the fact that RZA did the same first on Gold from Liquid Swords doesn't take away from its greatness in the least. Speaking of GZA, Cap will sound that good to you after the bullshit you just went through with the previous song. I really don't need to point out the fact that Rae & Mef sound absolutely terrific here, with Mef in particular blowing away everybody. Hell, he even tops his previous lyrical showing on Supa Ninjaz. This was refreshing to say the least.

YOUNG HEARTS (FEATURING BLUE RASPBERRY)
So, yeah RZA's back, and by now the lack of quality will exhaust you. Especially when you are one hundred percent certain that all parties involved can do better. This 'digital orchestra' beat is not really that bad when taken by itself. Hell, Blue Raspberry's interpolation might even fit perfectly on it had it been a solo song of hers. But the realization that Cappadonna with his straight up shitty bars is coming any second ruins the whole. Friggin'. Thing. I never want to hear Cap talk about his emotions ever again.

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING (FEATURING RHYME RECCA)
Goldfinghaz, in his second showing on the album brings a beat that Melachi the fucking Nutcracker would've utterly destroyed. That's right, I went there. And you can literally hear poor Rhyme Recca (from Rae's short-lived American Cream Team) chomping at the nuts to get on said beat and violate that shit. But nooo, Darryl simply had to ruin yet another fantastic beat with his fecal lyrical choices. I don't even care that he's rhyming on beat here. That's how much this man will make you hate his music.

PUMP YOUR FIST (FEATURING SOLOMON CHILDS & TEKITHA)
I know. I really don't want to continue this assault on my ears, either. But, I've brought this on myself so here we go: This RZA keyboard beat sounds like one of them old-ass cars you always see in Looney Tunes cartoons. Yeah, imagine that car trying to take a shit. Yep. That's what this beat sounds like. Hands down, the worst beat on the album. It's made even worse when Solomon Childs returns for yet another very good performance. I mean, why waste him here? With Tekitha and Cap's incompetent ass? Speaking of Tekitha, she raps here. I really wish I was joking. Oh, and even though she sounds like goddamn hippo piss, she still sounds better than Cappadonna! How did this song leave RZA's studio again?!

BLACK BOY (FEATURING TEKITHA)

The final song of the album is a Goldfinghaz production, and it sounds very similar to his work on Gravediggaz' Fairytalez. He simply speeds up a Love Orchestra Unlimited sample, and it works as a standalone. But again, this is a Cappadonna album, and from the moment you hear his sigh, (Not joking. He fucking sighes.) which opens the song by the way, you will stop listening. Whether by skipping the song and deleting the entire album, or using the CD as a tray to snort whatever drug you got into to escape the horrors of this album. Either way, you can continue doing so without the slightest shred of guilt because Cap predictably sounds like shit here, and the Tekitha I heard here is a far damn cry from her performance on the Soul In The Hole OST's title track. So of course this was the third single, with the video treatment n'all.

FINAL THOUGHTS
See? I'm not above trashing an album. Even if it had multiple songs that I absolutely love. And there's no way around it: At least five songs on here have been some of the best production showcases in hip hop history. True Master, still the unsung hero of this project, has presented a masterclass in the art of producing an MC with potential. And no one can deny that Cap had potential. Unfortunately, however, he obviously also had too many yes men. And when one of those yes men is the motherfucking RZA, architect of some of the most influential music you'll ever hear in hip hop or otherwise, one can only expect trouble. There's no justifiable explanation for why Cap's lyrics on the majority of The Pillage ever left his sessions. It really is a shame that the strength of the Wu brand was absolutely wasted on a person like Darryl Hill whom, to this very day, has proven that he works best when he has zero room to veer into his tendencies. I'm not joking about this: He has impressed me further down the line, but only in controlled environments like future Wu albums or solo projects by other members. As for his solo career, the one song that I like from his catalog that isn't on the Pillage is Put God First. That's it. I've heard everything else, and it's an absolute waste. What's really aggravating is that this dude keeps putting out material with no quality control whatsoever. Hell, he just put out The Pillage 2 two friggin' years ago, and it still sucked wild moonhog balls. And to think RZA could've prevented all this had he directed his managerial efforts towards Deck, Masta Killa, Solomon Childs or even Golden Arms. Whoa, can't believe I went that far. We'll cross the U-God bridge when we get there.

WORTH IT?

Fuck no. Avoid paying for this shit at all costs. With the magic of the Interweb, you can simply download True Master's tracks and add them to your rotation. If you're a producer or a rapper in need of good beats for your mixtape, there are some very good beats here that you can benefit from, so if you find a copy of the instrumentals, all will be copacetic.

TRACKS TO TRACK DOWN:
'97 MENTALITY (FEATURING GHOSTFACE KILLAH)
One question: Was this so fucking hard, RZA?! Why would you not produce Cap the way you did here. He's obviously reigned in to the fullest as he spits quotable after sick quotable in a 46-bar Winter Warz-esque performance. All set to RZA's deft sampling of a Mad Lads classic, no less. This was better than all your productions with him on the proper album. Oh and why is Ghostface wasted on the hook again?! A hook that only appears after Cap's finished with the song, no less. And someone apparently forgot to stop looping it. These choices still don't exclude this song from being amazing so omitting it from the Pillage is beyond crazy to me. I reiterate: I hope someone smacks RZA in the face hard after forcing him to realize how retarded management choices like this one were. And I hope someone smacks Cap hard in the face for the very fact that he's Cap.

For more Wu shit, you already know.