Cormega - Mega Philosophy (July 22, 2014)

This is the last time I'm importing a review from my mentor Max's Hip Hop Isn't Dead blog. I promise only all-new content from now on.

Quick question: How many rappers have caused you to change your mind about their work? We're talking a shift from, "Oh, he's absolute cow dung!" to, "God DAMN, this dude can spit!"

Ever since 2009, I can confidently say that Cory McKay, who joined a lucha libre stable under the name Cormega, has changed mine.

For years, Cormy has struggled under the shadow of his former foe Nas: his then-disagreement with Escobar resulted in him getting mysteriously kicked the fuck out of the hip hop supergroup The Firm, whose remaining members (AZ, Foxy Brown, and Nas, obviously) then rushed to sign with Dr. Dre, Ph.D, who replaced him with a different Queensbridge rapper who called himself Nature for some reason I'd rather not research.

Everything kept going downhill from there, as Cormy went on to be kicked out of another faction, this time Def Jam Records, who shelved his first attempt at a debut solo album, The Testament. This forced him to escape to the underground, where he released project after project of varying degrees of quality. Not to say that Cormy is a shitty emcee, of course: far from it. Mega has slowly moulded himself into one of the sharpest writers: his lyricism and effort are undeniable. But the main problem I've had with him is his inconsistent beat selection, since I believe using too many no-names causes consistency to drop considerably. Each and every one of his previous albums contains a bunch of tracks that you really can't take seriously (e.g., “Montana Diary”, “Rap's A Hustle”, etc.).

During the recording sessions for his second album, The True Meaning, Cormy came face-to-face with the man who helped shaped Nas's career, because whether anybody likes it or not, producer/rapper Large Professor is equally responsible for the awesomeness that is Illmatic as Nas is himself, since he was the unofficial A&R/executive producer of the iconic album. I've long held an admiration for the man's work in this genre, which was renewed when I came across his shelved debut, The LP. Bottom line: William Paul Mitchell is the fucking man.

Their lone collaboration on that project, “The Come Up”, didn't necessarily set the hip hop world on fire, it paved the way for future link-ups such as “Sugar Ray and Hearns”, which, despite how much I hoped, LP did not produce, and “Journey”, off of Cormy's fifth album Born & Raised. Although he had collaborated with other high-caliber producers such as DJ Premier, Pete Rock & Buckwild on that album, Mega sensed that he was on to something with Extra P. “Journey” was a flawless track that ranks right up there with the other classic tracks in Large Professor's production championship belt. So, since being called a “professor” implies you possess certain degree of intelligence, LP contacted our host to propose a full album-length collaboration. What he didn't expect was that Cormy was just about to call him to propose that very same idea. And the hip hop multiverse storyline was officially underway.

Seriously though, after promising the fucking thing for years, Cormy finally dropped Mega Philosophy, with its wall-to-wall production from Large Professor, onto the unsuspecting masses in July 2014. With this album, he claims he will earn his rightful place among the hip hop elite. So, does he?

Mega Philosophy, boy/girl (pick one):

1. A NEW DAY BEGINS

We begin with some dude passionately shouting about something about outsiders claiming to be hip hop scholars while ignoring some of the key people who helped shape the art form. Whatever. After the speech, Cormy spits a single verse over a smooth musical backdrop with no drums to grab on to. Hey, at least it's not an intro or spoken word.

2. MARS (DREAM TEAM) (FEAT. AZ, REDMAN, & STYLES P)

Huh. The sequel to a similarly structured song on Extra P's 2012 opus (Professor @ Large's “M.A.R.S.”, which featured Mega Montana alongside diet Ghostface Killah Action Bronson, current underground darling Roc Marciano, and Saigon, whom I didn't like for the longest until I heard his work with Just Blaze) shows that our host isn't fucking around. He certainly knows that once people merely glance at that guest list that this track will become an instant priority. So, yeah, this song is the tits. Everybody on here comes correct, and I'm very happy with Redman's first outing over an XP production. His Bruh Man reference produced a chuckle out of me that I don't usually get from most hip hop records these days. Props to AZ's diss to George Zimmerman, too.

3. INDUSTRY

The lead single. This cut got a lot of love from the Interweb back then, and with good reason, as Cormy steps up his ever-present critique of the music industry. This is a big step forward from the guy who wrote “Testament”. Props for mentioning Lauryn Hill and Styles P's respective predicaments, though. I have to think Nas was inspired to let Lauryn remind us of her greatness on KD2's Nobody after he listened to this once him & Cormy mended fences. And points have to be awarded for the single's cover art, especially as he includes the late Guru and Pimp C in that group. Not that we don't miss everyone we've lost in hip hop, but those two don't get mentioned nearly as often as the rest for some reason. I wish LP would have spit some bars on this, as he's been fucked over by the industry even more than our host.

4. MORE (FEAT. CHANTELLE NANDI)

Cormy gets his preach on over a dope LP production that utilises his strong ear for bass along with some soft strings sprinkled here and there, along with our host's new vocalist, whose singing I couldn't really decide on. The end result does the job surprisingly well, because although Cormy's preaching comes off as a bit forceful, it weirdly suits him. This album is slowly becoming quite the force. This is also the second song in a row where LP would've fit in nicely.

5. REFLECTION

Another Cormy acapella, a continuation of his one-acapella-per-album trend. The lyrics are good, though. Next!

6. D.U. (DIVINE UNITY) (FEAT. NATURE)

The working relationship between Cormega and Nature is one of the absolute funniest things I've ever seen in hip hop. First, your friend kicks you out of a group you helped form, and replaces you with some other random dude. Then you dis the shit out of both of them. And finally, you make up with your replacement, but not your longtime friend. Glad both of them squashed that, seriously. Anyway, these two have hooked up in the past on a remix of an Alchemist cut called “Professional Style” that also featured common Firm relation AZ. That track was even remixed by Cormega and The Revelations for his compilation album, Raw Forever, complete with redone lyrics from all parties involved. As for this song? Well, the chemistry is surely there, but the star of the show is the instrumental, which elevates the street imagery and boasts to a truly respectable scale. This shit was stupid nice.

7. HONORABLE (FEAT. RAEKWON)

Cormy's pulling out all the stops on this, huh? The Chef comes correct on his second Extra P outing following his showout 14 years prior on Busta Rhymes's The Heist, alongside fellow Wu General GFK and aforementioned underground darling Roc Marciano, whom I preferred way better during his Flipmode/UN days. Rae and our host use the same formula as "C.R.E.A.M.", in that Rae is once again the party enamoured with the street life while Cormy plays the Inspectah Deck role of the cat who thanks his newfound spirituality for getting him the fuck out of that life. In no way am I saying this is as good as “C.R.E.A.M.”: I'm saying the formula is a tried and true one that works on this track.

8. RAP BASQUIAT

Aside from “MARS (Dream Team)”, this song has the beat that stuck with me the most so far on Mega Philosophy. LP's drum break samples are fucking awesome, and he even plays with the breaks during Cormy's performance to amplify the energy of the track. Accordingly, Mega steps his delivery up to a fever pitch, which gives his boasts a certain authority that improves the overall product. True shit: I haven't heard Cormy sound this aggressive since The Testament. The guy at the end, though? Annoyingly unnecessary to the proceedings.

9. RISE (FEAT. MAYA AZUCENA)

Maya Azucena reunites with Cormy after their stellar posse cut to benefit Haiti, “I Made A Difference”, from 2010, which also marked the first time I had ever heard Reggie Noble spit conscious rhymes. LP and Maya prep the track nicely enough for Cormy to go in full introspective mode, and seeing as I love me some introspection when done right, this shit is right up my alley. This is the second time in a row a track ends in a crappy way, though, as LP brings down the beat, leaving Maya sounding pretty paranoid as she hums on to the end of the track. Still, this was the third song on here where Extra P's bars could've fit like a glove.

10. HOME (FEAT. BLACK ROB)

Even when his Life Story album being an absolute gem that sold one million copies Stateside and his sophomore The Black Rob Report being satisfyingly consistent, I've always felt like the late Black Rob was quite underpromoted. That, and I’ve mistakenly dismissed his solo work for the longest because of his staunch loyalty to the human serpent that is Sean Comby Combs (A dismissal that thankfully didn’t last long). But ever since he left prison in 2010, he's been making moves with the right people: I enjoyed his showing on Smif-N-Wessun and Pete Rock's Monumental collaboration album. He's always had a talent for painting a picture you can believe. On “Home”, he gives what can be argued as his most memorable showing since he became a free man again, although I could probably credit that to XP moulding the beat to fit his heavy voice. Oh, and Cormy's his usual self here, as well. Ever since Rob passed, this has become the track I revisit the most from Mega Philosophy despite its brevity.

11. VALUABLE LESSONS

A quick sample from The True Meaning's “Take These Jewels” precedes a somber acoustic-sampling beat that provides the canvas for the final track on the album, where Cormy spits three verses, each one about a different type of relationship: friendship, family, and love, respectively. He ends his album on a very personal note, and LP's beat is a very fitting musical backdrop for the proceedings. And with that, we're done.

FINAL THOUGHTS: With Mega Philosophy, Cormega has finally delivered what has been missing from his catalogue: A damn fine album that is complete with excellent performances and quality beats from a bonafide legend. Large Professor has finally collaborated with an artist who has shown time and again to be worthy of his beats. (LP, I know Neek The Exotic is your man, but he hasn't delivered on his “Fakin' The Funk” potential for over twenty years now. Maybe he should quit rapping. And L.E.O.? Really, William? You fucked up on that one. Fucked up bad.) The only thing would have made Mega Philosophy perfect are some bars from Extra P himself, and trust me, many opportunities presented themselves. But make no mistake about it: this is a fucking awesome album. The guests, rapping and singing alike, were also equally stellar, lending the album an air of fine quality control and ensuring it as a body of work one will revisit for years to come.

WORTH IT? You bet your doughy and warty posterior, boy/girl (pick one). Cormega, you may now take your rightful place among the elite in hip hop. Very well done, sir.

 

TRACKS TO TRACK DOWN

INDUSTRY (JUICE CREW REMIX) (FEATURING KOOL G RAP, MASTA ACE & CRAIG G)

Over the same beat as the regal original, Cormega returns and brings with him one hell of an all-star show as Craig G, music man Masta Ace and the Kool motherfucking Genius of Rap of hip hop royalty the Juice Crew catch wreck. And boy, do they ever! Each MC delivers a critique that will remain true until God takes this Earth over. This shit slaps!

INDUSTRY (DELUXE REMIX) (FEATURING INSPECTAH DECK, ROC MARCIANO, SADAT X & LORD JAMAR)

Over an entirely different instrumental from the Extra P, Cormega invites my favorite Wu General Excalibur aka Inspectah Deck, Roc Marciano (I'm really mentioning him a lot in this interview, aren't I? Speaks to his workrate) and members of hip hop royalty Brand Nubian Sadat X & Lord Jamar (DJ Vlad's former BFF) to showcase yet another critique of the business side of music. While everyone else, including our host, did their best to leave a lasting impression on the consumer, there’s a reason the other Wu Generals feared the Rebel. With my favorite outing on the song, Deck perfectly exhibits why he’s one of the most potent MCs to ever write lyrics with:

"I strive to be the type to fight to lead them right

From the brainwash, same songs daily that they playin'

And if you disagree with the mass, then you're hatin'"

Preach on, good brother.

And we’re done.

For more on the recently-reinstated Firm member, lookit. For other Queensbridge luminaries, check this out. And for extra Extra P, follow this.

Das EFX - Generation EFX (March 24, 1998)

It's very interesting when you're on top for only a moment, isn't it?

Many bands tried to reach the top of the hip-hop food chain by themselves, but very few actually succeed in doing so.

When you picture acts like Jay-Z, Biggie, 2Pac & Nas,  you find that they've all established themselves as businesses, one way or another from the very get-go.

While other acts, such as Onyx, Naughty By Nature & Das EFX, they've reached the top with only their primary team behind them.

Das EFX, to be particular, relied on their in-house production crew, Solid Scheme, of which the late Chris Charity, a.k.a. C-Dog, ran the entire operation in a close knit group.  These types of teams are molded strictly for underground audiences & rarely make an impact in the mainstream industry, let alone shoot straight to the top of it.  But, shoot to the top they did.

It didn't happen overnight, though. In '91, Brooklyn-born Teaneck-raised Andre Weston bka Krazy Drazy and Brooklyn-born-&-raised William Hines bka Books In Reverse (Skoob for the challenged) were buddying it up in Virgina State masquerading as students along with their two producers when a small hip hop contest was advertised. The winner would get 100 dollars. Only top dollar for the top talents. The crucial details to this otherwise-boring-ass origin story is that the judges of said competition were none other than one Erick Sermon and one Parish Smith, or for the uninitiated, EPMD. Our duo, prior to even calling themselves by their now-household moniker, performed a routine that would later be known as Klap Ya Handz. Needless to say, both E&P were blown the hell away. So naturally, they rigged the competition so that our two protagonists wouldn't win. Parish then came up to the duo and issued the following: "You want a hundred bucks or a record deal?" Which was literally the one thing P could've said to stop Drazy, Books, Solid Scheme member Derek Lynch & ringleader C-Dog from shooting up the place.

As a result, Dead Serious, the duo's debut, executive-produced by EPMD (an obvious step), was the pure definition of a sleeper hit in 1992, gaining vast critical & commercial success, resulting in it rightly gaining classic status in later years.  Stuff of fairytales. Really.

However, things began to spiral out of control once the big EPMD fiasco hit that very same year.  To top it all off, the two snots actually ditched what made them so popular in the first place, "the iggedy" or the "sewage" gimmick.  As a result, it didn't really matter if their sophomore effort, the very underrated Straight Up Sewaside, was a better album in all aspects. The critical & commercial success ship has long sailed.

So, they did the only thing they could do at that point & tried the underground route.  Their 3rd opus, Hold It Down, was a sort of calling in favours from fans within the industry, resulting in a 20-track album with very different musical backdrops, most of which were pretty damn good.  Yet, critics & sales still slumped.

So we come to the year 1998.  The new millennium's on the horizon, boom bap is thought to be long dead and our protagonists are out of favours in the industry.  They had only one option remaining.

Parish Smith, whom the duo sided with after his temporary breakup with Erick Sermon, released his 2nd album in 1996 that somehow gave his camp an identity. "Business Is Business" was basically a PMD Squad album (I refuse to call that clique the Hit Squad. To me, that moniker is reserved for the reunited camps of Erick and Parish respectively), with productions from Solid Scheme, Charlie Marotta, DJ Scratch and the excellent Agallah, or 8-Off the Assassin as he was known at the time, along with rap appearances by M.O.P., Nocturnal, Prodigy from Mobb Deep & our headliners today, who appeared on 4 songs on the album.  They later collaborated with EPMD on the reunion album, "Back In Business" on the awesome track, "Intrigued".

So, in-house was the way to go.  This time around, PMD felt like he had to have more of a hand in the sound of the album, given that he was once an extraordinary producer himself.  So, he geared up with his production affiliates from his sophomore LP, along with a few additions, and set off making the final Das EFX album in many people's eyes.

Anyone bringing up How We Do would be wasting his goddamn time.

Here's Generation EFX:

INTRO

.

RAW BREED

The second single & the first song of the album is a collaboration between Agallah & Solid Scheme, crafting a 50-themed classical music beat that is very easy on the ears.  A very contrasting style to what we're accustomed to from Solid Scheme, but that's merely due to Agallah's input.  The lyrics, however, are a different story.  The duo has seemingly lost all sense of fun in recording by themselves, resulting in a very paint-by-the-numbers lyrical display.  This aspect was very disappointing.  I dunno, I still enjoy this because of the beat.

SHINE

It was bound to happen.  The fucking sewer rats are now attempting a track for the fucking radio.  It's not even a fucking single.  Was this what the streets wanted to hear from the guys who made Hard Like A Criminal and Kaught In Da Ak??!!  On here, these two sound like they were the inspiration for the Beavis & Butthead cartoons.  They hear fucking Comby on the radio, they whimper to themselves: "Hey!!  We can have a good time, too!!  We can look good in a fucking club, too!!!"  Some sewage (pun motherfucking intended) that calls itself Tony L produced this horseshit, by the way.  Important note: Drazy's delivery has become even more annoying than usual this time round.

SOMEBODY TOLD ME (FEATURING 8-OFF & NOCTURNAL)

8-Off returns behind the boards by himself this time & crafts a beat that successfully washes the remnants of the previous song outta my ear. However, his verse is the only somewhat decent verse on this whole song, with the worst offender being Nocturnal, who sounds like a fucking mafioso-rap reject. Lord Almighty, this album's off to a bad start. By the way, who in the FUCK played Sega Genesis back in 98? (I’m assuming they’re not talking about the Saturn or the Dreamcast. Ah, the Dreamcast.) Talk about some false advertising.  Overall, the beat saved this.

SET IT OFF

By far, the worst song on the album.  Rashad Smith & Armando Colon are with us to bring us this pig shit.  Believe me, my fellow lonely soul, it's much worse than the crap that was "Shine".  I mean, it reeks, reeks of sounding like something Mase aka Pastor Betha would’ve left on the cutting room floor when he was making the abysmal Harlem World. For their part, Das EFX have now officially transformed into the poor man's M.O.P.  Scratch that, actually.  They're the de-fucking-prived-of-every-fucking-privilege-known-to-fucking-humankind man's M.O.P.

NO DOUBT (FEATURING M.O.P. & TEFLON)

Speak of the devils.  Solid Scheme return with the very original M.O.P. with their kinfolk, Teflon, to show our hosts how they're supposed to sound if they're gonna make an M.O.P. song. First, you need a beat worth demolishing, and Solid Scheme provide just that. Then, you need some competent MC's, and M.O.P. succeed in bringing our hosts into that special Onyx/M.O.P. vibe of furniture & limb tornados. This was a much-needed breather from all the shit we've been swimming through.

RAP SCHOLAR (FEATURING REDMAN)

The lead single & yep. You read this right. Redman's here. And he's fitting to wreck some shop. Armando & Rashad handle a sample of Brick's "Dazz" that was very famously sampled in Ice Cube’s scathing demolishment of his former NWA brethren, "No Vaseline". This song is originally produced by Parish Smith, with the original popping up later on the album. And, somehow, he thought his version wasn't good enough to be the lead single, so he brought us the dynamic duo of pop at the time. One that isn't called The Trackmasters nor the Neptunes.  Anyway the fuckers were brought in to spice things up a little.  Well, I'm very pleased to tell you that, while their take is clearly the inferior one, they still provided a competent enough spin to justify making this the lead single. Redman naturally steals the track from our hosts by sticking them up with a lollipop. Well, actually Books put up some kind of a fight. Drazy went off rambling absolute gibberish. But don't hold it against him. Too much stress from shitting out all those chimichangas from yesterday apparently fried his wires. We'll get someone to fix him later.

GENERATION EFX (FEATURING EPMD)

It should be notable this is the sole completed EPMD guest appearance released on record, shouldn't it? Well, thank God this song fucking knocks, then.  Parish & Agallah collaborate on this track to produce a brilliant take on "Eye Of The Tiger", which is then demolished by both duos with infectious energy. The sound of Erick & Parish back together on another record just can't be denied. Plus, any song where BOTH members of Das EFX are awake & carrying each other's backs is a big step in the right direction. The hook sucks walrus balls, though. Courtesy of Books In Reverse who's drunk off his ass. Why did you piss him off so, Drazy?

RITE NOW

Some dude named Mike Lowe provides us with East Coast beat #2458842, which does nothing for our hosts, as Drazy's drunk again. Leaving Books as the only sober dude in the booth.  I'm telling you that through his delivery, you can hear him getting angrier at Drazy for being such a fucking bum so far on this album.

WHUT GOES AROUND (FEATURING MISS JONES)

The Sugar Hill songstress is here, and lil Jonesy is so much the wrong companion for a group like our kings of sewage.  Nevertheless, she & PMD, who's on his own behind the boards, do enough with what they can.  This might attract some listeners, but it's merely meh for me.  The beat sounds like it came straight from an 80s pop song. Not bad, I guess?

MAKE NOIZE

The very final Solid Scheme production EVER. Chris Charity aka C-Dog, who was the leader of the whole Das EFX movement, would pass away 2 years later, effectively ending any sort of real Solid Scheme comeback. RIP. Kinda wish the beat was more fitting. It's not bad, per se, but if you're a fan of the group's earlier work, you kinda feel wanting a little bit more than a Nightmare Before Christmas-type of beat. Oh well, the rhymes were somewhat good, at least. I'm almost sad it had to end for them this way. Almost.

NEW STUFF

PMD & Agallah return to give us a more uptempo beat than the previous one, but with very similar lyrical results. Also, Books shows his first signs of lyrical fatigue, as he's slowly but surely become the workhorse of the duo. Meanwhile, in between takes at the time of this song's recording, Drazy's slurping on his third fudgesicle while watching Mulan for the umpteenth time. He sure does love Eddie Murphy's family phase. Don't ask me why.

TAKE IT BACK (FEATURING PMD)

Parish is again left to his own devices behind the boards, which results in a beat that’s the most reminiscent of the Jeep-rattling EPMD sound I've heard in a long while. He appears on the song as well, raising the chemistry of every rapper involved to an enjoyable level. That's all I got.

CHANGE

So, you two fucks. You give us an entire album of mediocre rhymes before bringing us something that resembles interesting writing?  Anyway, Agallah's behind the boards for dolo again.  And this time, he freaks a friggin' somber sample of Queen's "Sail Away Sweet Sister" that sets the mood for the duo to spit. Luckily, they turn in their best lyrical display on the album, As Drazy is speaking to a girl he loves, and Skoob's speaking to a mentor of sorts in a parenting tone. Of course, both of these subjects are metaphors for hip-hop. Ah, well. Count me entertained. They do as well as they can in this point of their career, with Books finally catching up to Drazy in the storytelling department, yet still not passing him. This shit was nice!

RAP SCHOLAR (ORIGINAL VERSION) (FEATURING REDMAN)

I told you that the original version would pop up later on the album, but nooooooo: You had to insist on listening to all this shit first. Suit yourself, my fellow knucklehead.  Anyway, Parish wasted his motherfucking time by commissioning Ringo & Armando to remix this shit earlier, as this version is by far the superior one. Reggie’s lyrics are the exact same while our duo’s pen game is different enough than the single version, but PMD's take elevates this song to very entertaining, as his use of the very same Dazz sample is much better than how those two laced it earlier.

FINAL THOUGHTS:  Das EFX's fall from grace was swift & painful. This is the worst album in their real catalog, and you know what? They have no one to blame but their own goddamn selves. For the most part, no one can fault the beats, as they are a continuation of Parish's 2nd LP's successful run. No producer from Parish's in-house team came with a bad beat,and Solid Scheme tried their damn hardest. The same can NOT be said for the guest productions. However, most notable is that the duo's laziness, especially Drazy's, leaves this album falling flat on its shnoz. The commercial & critical no-shows this time were very well-deserved. Bottom line: Aside from the posse cuts and Change, this was a major letdown & a waste of my motherfucking time.

WORTH IT? Oh, by all means, stay away from this shit.  I can not, with a clear conscience, recommend supporting this album to anyone. Scratch that. You know what? Just give Change & the posse cuts a spin. And if you don't like 'em, I implore you to ignore this album as if it never happened.

Das EFX - Hold It Down (September 26, 1995)

A quick refresher:

The year, 1991. EPMD are basking the success of their third LP, Business as Usual. Passing through Virginia State University, Erick Sermon and Parish Smith judged a small local rap competition, helping two dreads that called themselves Drazy and Skoob Effects (or Das EFX if you're over 70) acquire a deal with EastWest Records.  They were later added to the burgeoning collective the Hit Squad, which consisted of Redman, K-Solo and EPMD themselves. The duo's first shot at rap stardom, Dead Serious, became a sleeper hit in 1992 and sold over one million copies in the US alone.

 EPMD broke up later that year, and each member took his share of artists with him. Parish, who ended up with Das EFX, would attempt a second home run by executive producing their vastly-improved second LP, 1993’s Straight Up Sewaside, but the two snots decided on a fucking stupid business move by turning away from their "sewage" style (the iggedy gimmick, for the uninformed) causing radio stations across the country to immediately lose any interest whatsoever in the Das EFX brand.  The duo would never receive an RIAA certification ever again.

Fast forward to 1995. Drazy and Skoob realized that the only way they could continue to thrive in hip hop was outside of the mainstream, so they set out to create the best underground rap album they could, entitled Hold It Down. With PMD once again on board as executive producer, Das EFX recruited a who's-who list of underground producers to helm the album's beats alongside their usual collaborators Solid Scheme. The list includes big names such as Easy Mo Bee, DJ Premier, Pete Rock, and Showbiz, among others. In the rapping department, Hold It Down became the very first Das EFX album that featured guest appearances, including one big name from outside the immediate family. 

OK, let's put our rubber gloves on and wade through this shit. (Think Ellie Sattler.) Hold It Down, boy/girl (pick one):

INTRO (ONCE AGAIN)

Once again, indeed! Skip!

NO DIGGEDY

The title that Blackstreet ripped off to popularise the very term. The first beat on the album that graces our ears is DJ Premier's first of two contributions. And let me tell you, this is 1995 Preem, so he wasn't fucking around: a fucking masterpiece of a beat surrounds our hosts, and when they start rhyming, you'll notice the “-iggedy” has returned. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Took both of you shits long enough to cave in to criticism? You're not even doing it the same way: they both sound like they're using the gimmick for the fuck of it, which is just lazy writing. There is a noticeable step down in delivery from our hosts: Not as manic as on the first album nor as precise as on the second, but a deformed hybrid of both. The rhymes here are good enough, I suppose. Preem’s beat carries the proceedings along as well, leading to them sounding that much more comfortable.

KNOCKIN' N****Z OFF

Next up on the 1's and 2's, Easy Mo Bee! I've always respected this guy for his molding of Biggie's lone classic album Ready To Die. Here, he crafts a home run. Skoob takes charge on this song and delivers his trademark punchlines effectively, but Drazy is a fucking lost cause on this track, with only the BDP line as his sole interesting reference as he simply plays hype-man to his partner. Another step in the right direction.

HERE WE GO

Solid Scheme's turn. I gotta say, I'm loving the diversity of the beats so far. The duo provide our hosts with familiar ground, and Drazy and Skoob immediately sound noticeably more comfortable than the previous tracks, even though both beats thereon were both slightly superior to this one. I'm happy to report that Drazy is now sober. He and his partner revert back to their second album flows, coming up with much more clever punchlines. Thumbs up for this one as well.

REAL HIP-HOP

DJ Premier's back, and his second contribution is the lead single. I take back what I said in the "No Diggedy" track description about him not fucking around: Unfortunately, this is a Preem 101 beat. The kind of lazy shit he sometimes exhibits, present day. The lyrics, however continue to improve. Well, Books' anyway as Drazy started drinking again as of this point. It's as if Books is learning how to rhyme again step by step, after the coma that the commercial failure of their second album put both of them through.

HERE IT IS

I don't know who this Kevin Geeda is, but fuck me if he didn't produce a chest caver of a beat. This is exactly the type of beat that I miss hearing in today's music. (With a few exceptions, such as 2013's fucking awesome Trillmatic by the A$AP Mob, of all people.) I'm not exaggerating when I say that this instrumental trumps every one that came before it, and the producers coming up ahead definitely have their shit cut out for them. It seems our hosts recognize this as well, as they sound as refreshed as ever, especially Books. Son goes the fuck in! Drazy was thankfully alert as well, which was awful nice of him. This shit is addictively good!

MICROPHONE MASTER

I really hated Drazy's contributions here at first. Now, I can fairly see that I have given him the wrong end, as Drazy indeed pulls out another serviceable performance from his ass. Maybe it's because he heard himself sampled on the hook in an infinitely better song on which he brought the ruckus. As usual though, Books is taking it very seriously as he turns in another fine performance. The beat is Easy Mo Bee's second, and it's actually fairly soothing. I obviously intend that as a compliment, people. Thank you, Mo Bee, for waking Drazy up again. That was a stand-up thing to do, bruh.

40 & A BLUNT

Easy Mo Bee really pulls a rabbit outta the hat here.  This is a minimalist beat that’ll surely creep its way onto your list of favorite Easy Mo Bee productions. Seriously, it feels like you’re in the middle of a tunnel and you’re gazing at the sunlight beaming in from the exit. Interesting that Books throws a K-Solo mention your way, while Drazy pulls off a lounging mood successfully. A dope Rakim vocal cut, as well. I will say, though, that the Grand Puba sample left him sounding even more annoying than I've ever heard him. Overall though, I had a lot of fun with this.

BUCK-BUCK

The obligatory Das EFX self-production. This sounds less like a song and more like a freestyle. The hook is an abomination, and the lyrics are some of the fucking weakest I've ever heard from these guys. Wait, scratch that: this is literally their worst performance up to this point. I have nothing more to say about this shit. 

INTRO

Are you fucking kidding me?!

CAN'T HAVE NUTTIN'

Um. OK.  After a worthless skit & a song that's absolute hippo piss, we get another unknown by the name of Soul G. producing a haunting beat that is very sorely needed at this point in the album. For their part, Das EFX must have felt they dealt their listeners somewhat of a bad hand, as they turn in their best performance on the album so far. As you know, I loves me a good storytime rap, and here they execute a perfect autobiography on wax. After hearing this, the first thought that came to mind was that Books In Reverse really stepped his storytelling game up. Drazy still outshines him as he's always been the better storyteller, but this time it's much more of a contest. A much-needed step back in the right direction.

ALRIGHT

Easy Mo Bee returns to us with his worst effort on the album, although still fairly good. However, the rhymes echo those on his previous beat: Drazy's awake? Check, since Books can only do so much by his damn self. I loved Skoob's Lou Duva reference, since nowadays people never show enough respect to the legends. Overall, this shit does the job.

HOLD IT DOWN

The final Easy Mo Bee track on the album is a proper sendoff, as he turns in a booming beat that would rock any stadium in this world or the other one. That is, providing Das EFX can generate that much interest. Along with his first & third contributions on the album, this seriously ranks among the man's best work ever.  And I've heard "The Points"!  Lyrically, the hook is grating on the ear, as is the case whenever Drazy goes into one of his tangents. But, the verses are entertaining enough, with funny bits hidden in the verses, like Drazy's Changing Faces reference that had me letting out a loud and earnest "HAH!" in the bathroom at work. Too much info? I don't give a shit. (Pun intended, unfortunately.) This track further adds to Mo Bee's track record as a master of title tracks. Oh you don't think so? Name me one bad title track from him. I'll wait. 

That's what I thought.

DEDICATED

DJ Clark Kent graces us with his presence to cook up one beat which is a friggin' waste of time, and the sentiment's amplified by the fucking chorus. Seriously, hooks really fell the fuck off as the '90s progressed. Skoob is the victor yet again, although neither have anything to add to the conversation. A shame.

READY TO ROCK ROUGH RHYMES (FEAT SOLID SCHEME)

That's right, you read correctly: Solid Scheme make their first and only rapping appearance in hip hop history, then promptly disappear back behind the boards. How do they sound, you ask? Well, you wouldn't know that they produced such chaos-inducing hits such as "Mic Checka" and "Freakit", because as rappers, they are the antithesis of Das EFX. They're not bad, though. It works the same way pairing Guru with M.O.P. does. Das EFX are the roided berserkers of the bunch, while Solid Scheme keep the threats up close and personal in an excellent monotone. Derek Lynch, who rarely makes an appearance in the public ever besides this, goes first, with a flow that sets the tone for the rest of the song. The late Chris Charity bka C-Dog follows up with the coldest verses on the album.  Of all the 4 MCs involved, his deep voice sounds the most intimidating and it leaves you with the impression that he's the one you better not fuck with. (It also helps that Drazy mentioned in an interview once that C-Dog is the real head of the entire Das EFX movement. You get that hearing him rhyme. Believe me.) Of course, this doesn't mean that Das EFX are lyrically inferior to these two here, as their verses at the end swipe the rug from underneath the producers so bad that they never rhyme again. The beat is a very fitting companion to the proceedings, curiously sampling former group mate Redman from the classic "Hardcore".  People sure do love that song, and rightly so. Nice!

REPRESENT THE REAL (FEAT KRS-ONE)

May I present the guest from outside the camp. The Blastmaster himself considered this song so good that he swiped it for his own project that dropped the very next month. Now if that isn't underground cred in 1995, I don't know what is. Lyrically, KRS steals the entire album from underneath our hosts, obviously, even if they put up a good fight. Fellow Bronx legend, crate digger extraordinaire Showbiz, handled the beat acceptably. It's not as good as his previous work with KRS on Sound Of Da Police nor his work with AG, but it does the job. Overall, a dope track.

COMIN' THRU

Well, it appears PMD is finally getting generous, as he lends the duo the services of Grandmaster DJ Scratch, who actually can produce a gem from time to time. His masterful beat, sourced from jazz and funk, provides the sense of gladiator arenas where Drazy and Skoob throw down, with Books failing to get the W over his partner this time.  Drazy sounded pretty inspired here, while throughout the album Books hasn't slipped, aside from Buck-Buck, of course. Punchline for punchline though, he just wasn't able to top his partner on this song.  Dope track, even with the crappy hook.

HARDCORE RAP ACT

The final Solid Scheme contribution is a healthy dose of nostalgia for the heads, sampling a plethora of Golden Era legends like Rakim, LL & (surprise surprise) Erick Sermon yet again.  I'm surprised PMD didn't cut the songs where E-Dub is sampled out, because he sure sounded pissed at him on his solo debut.  Funny that the best lyrical contributions from Das EFX on the album usually appear on Solid Scheme productions, as the duo (Books in particular) really sound inspired over their beat here, with clever references to Attica, Tekken (always welcome) among others.  This was pretty enjoyable.

BAD NEWS (FEAT PMD)

Those of you who were worried that PMD would stay pissed at fate for all of eternity, rejoice! PMD has finally calmed the fuck down, which really shows in his focus and delivery, even though (big shocker here) he still mentions nothing about EPMD's breakup. Anyways, DJ Scratch provides us with a funky banger straight from the EPMD school that samples a track from PMD’s own Shadé Business (a crappy guilty pleasure of mine. Its beats are still hugely overlooked), specifically a 3rd Eye guest verse, on which our hosts utilize the short time to demolish the beat nicely and effectively. These three share a definite chemistry behind the mic and it sure shows. A slam dunk if I've ever heard one.

REAL HIP-HOP (PETE ROCK REMIX)

One of the rare moments, in my humble opinion, that Pete Rock's take on a track completely outshines DJ Premier's. Peter Phillips turns this snoozefest into a fucking anthem for 1990s music, let alone boom bap. The lyrics also sound much more impressive over this beat. Well, Books' rhymes, at least, as this was recorded smack dab in the midst of Drazy's out-of-it sessions. Overall, a definite improvement, and one of the best Pete Rock beats I've ever heard from the man. Well done, Mr. Phillips!

FINAL THOUGHTS:  Hold It Down is one long ass album by Das EFX standards.  At twenty tracks, this comes across as a stealth resume sent to competing labels to show off what they were capable of, even if there isn't much in the way of lyrical variation. The comparison between Das EFX and other punchline rappers, like their former group mate Redman, ends with this album, as Hold It Down marks the point where Drazy and Skoob Effects ran out of chemistry, as Books displayed incredible focus on this album, which admittedly should’ve increased his stock in the industry back then, while Drazy started his lyrical fall from grace here by lazily and infuriatingly going through the motions through a few of the songs. Well, except for some notable examples where he shone just as bright, if not even brighter than his partner. That said, most of the beats on this album are awesome, especially from the unknowns, which act as a saving grace.

WORTH IT?  Definitely. Although this time, the choice is just a smidge harder: Aside from two songs and two skits, the beats save Das EFX from being an absolute chore to listen to, which is the very worst feeling that can come from listening to hip-hop, by improving their performances. Miracle of music n'all.  Except for a handful of cases, in which I wish I could've been at the recording session to take out my anger on all parties responsible for the crap I was listening to. But, before I forget...

TRACK TO TRACK DOWN:
MICROPHONE MASTER (SEWA/41 ST. SIDE REMIX) (FEAT MOBB DEEP)

This was a very welcome surprise. The mere presence of an in-form Prodigy RIP elevates this track to an entirely new level, as he turns in the winning performance. Drazy's paired with him, so he also sounds inspired. The remaining two MCs keep the energy up as Skoob displays his usual cleverness in his punchlines while Havoc keeps up his stellar form from The Infamous. The track's maestro is R&B producer AllStar, and this is his debut hip hop production, on which he does enough. To be honest, I was almost certain the beat was Havoc's. Go figure. But yeah, this song's timeless.

Das EFX - Straight Up Sewaside (November 16, 1993)

In March of 1992, two snotty dreads who called themselves Das EFX blasted into the mainstream with their debut single, "They Want EFX". That song, along with its accompanying album, Dead Serious, introduced the world to a new style of rhyming that the duo dubbed "sewage" and landed the duo alongside the likes of Naughty By Nature and Onyx to build the foundation for the East Coast Renaissance, a period of time where New York could do no wrong in the eyes of music critics.

Amidst all the hoopla, Das EFX stood with their chests held high, side-by-side with their Hit Squad brethren EPMD, Redman & K-Solo. They were paid to cameo on Ice Cube's "Check Yourself", which only furthered their rise and cemented their “sewage” gimmick as one of the most original ideas in hip hop. Even though it was a fucking stupid name for a gimmick, it was one that would define Krazy Drayz and Skoob's entire career. Just not in the way they had hoped.

Everyone and their fucking dog started adding “-iggedy” to their rhymes, from Jay-Z to fucking Kris Kross (who had their rhymes written by Treach, of all people, even though producer Jermaine Dupri stole all the credit. I mean, talk about a scratch to the fucking belt), which resulted in the gimmick getting very old very fast. Unlike what some people may have believed, the first people who noticed this were Das EFX themselves. So, rather than stick with what worked for them in the past, they opted to reinvent themselves in order to remain on top of the game. So, they decided to throw their "sewage" style away for a short time, while the dust settled.

Which turned out to be the worst fucking business move they could've done at the time, as their second album, Straight Up Sewaside, sold absolutely zero copies (shouldn't it be called Straight Down Sewaside?). To top it all off, the infamous EPMD breakup further soured matters for Drayz and Skoob. Das EFX's commercial career never recovered from that one-two combo.

But what about the album itself? It was crafted by the very same people as their popular debut: the returning production team Solid Scheme handled all but two tracks on the album, which were left for Das EFX themselves and Charlie Marotta, a Long Island engineering OG who taught Parish Smith how to produce, sided with him after his ugly breakup with Erick Sermon and whom I will always respect for his work on that shelved Knuckleheadz album.

Straight Up Sewaside, boy/girl (pick one):

INTRO
Just as the title proclaims. Skip!

UNDERGROUND RAPPA
The first thing you'll notice about this song is that the "sewage" style, imitated by countless upstarts (please refer to the paragraphs above), is long gone. The rhymes are extremely clear now that they stopped flipping their tongues, and from the very first verse, Skoob demonstrates very clearly why he's the better punchline rapper of the two. Solid Scheme continue their amazing run from the first album by producing an absolute gem of a beat. Believe me, this will cause your expensive sound system to rattle the environment exactly the way you want it to.

GIMME DAT MICROPHONE
Marotta's lone contribution. The track continues Das EFX's weird obsession with Erick Sermon, sampling the iconic EPMD hit "So What Cha Sayin'." This tracks appears to have finally woken Drayz the fuck up, since he catches up to his partner this time round, and they proceed to demolish the track together. The wonder of friendship. The Pepsi reference was pretty dope, too. Putting it short, this shit was nice!

CHECK IT OUT
The spiritual sequel to "Mic Checka" from Dead Serious. The hook, once again, will be all you remember from this song. Lyrically, the duo carries the track, but without any truly memorable lines. Drazy's delivery is inspired, though. It's as though he ate some pretty banging rats down at those sewers they keep mentioning. The beat is the standard that Solid Scheme set for themselves, which pretty goddamn nice. Fuck it, I like this song.

INTERLUDE
...

FREAKIT
The lead single. This time around, this choice was a smart one, as the first single from most albums is typically chosen based on what represents your act the most, and if any one song encapsulated what this album sounded like, it's “Freakit”. Curiously, I found the beat sounding like "Klap Ya Handz" from their first album. Maybe they had a special connection during that time. Maybe they hold a special place in their heart for the producer of the first song. Maybe I'm drowsy as fuck at the time of this writing. Skoob sounds like he wasn't really trying on this song, so his partner gets the better of him in the punchline department.

RAPPAZ
Huh! And here I was thinking the "sewage" style was to make no resurgence whatsoever on this album. Das EFX immediately sound more comfortable by resorting back to their gimmick. The difference is, there is no “-iggedy” suffix to speak of. I'm left thinking, "Why in the fuck didn't they rhyme like this on their debut?" As, admittedly, the “-iggedy” suffix made them sound a little preschool-ish. Anyway, the beat is fucking awesome yet again, with another Solid Scheme slam dunk that samples Biz Markie.

INTERVIEW
Thankfully the last skit on the album. They talk about the “sewage” style and why they're not using it anymore, setting up the next track.

BAKNAFFEK
I definitely agree with Max on the issue of the intentional misspelling of song titles. This second single seemingly rubs salt in the wounds of people who loved their popular “sewage” gimmick by using it only in the first bar, then continuing to gallop ahead with the track. Krazy Drayz later mentions in the song that since so many people bit the gimmick, then they can have it while he moves on to greener pastures. The beat is the spiritual sequel to "They Want EFX", with the weird yodeling and an Erick Sermon sample to boot.

KAUGHT IN DA AK
The fellow miserable soul who read my review of the first album might recall that I added a b-side to track down by the name of "Hard Like A Criminal." You might also recall that I proclaimed it head and shoulders above anything they did on Dead Serious and that it was a damn shame that it wasn't included on said debut. Well, my dear friend, I'm very pleased to tell you that the two snots have learned their lesson and present to you its sequel, which was also the third single. And I'm also very pleased to tell you it's even better than its predecessor. The beat starts with a menacing bass line. Then, as the kicks and snares reveal themselves, Books In Reverse beckons Solid Scheme to "bring it in one time." Then, the beat in all its glory is finally revealed, with a fucking ingenious hook that samples Ad-Rock's famous proclamation from the Beastie Boys' classic joint "Paul Revere". This is the best beat on the album thus far. This is the lone storytelling rap on the entire record, but believe me, it'll fill your appetite, as the tale depicts Skoob as a higher-level street thug "doin' it big" and Drayz as a frustrated former criminal desperate for some of the loot. The former recruits the latter, who worked with him in the past, to kill an underling that stole from him. As they prepare for the hit, they come across some cops. And that's where the story is left open-ended. Brilliant! It's almost as if the duo wants you to focus on the circumstances surrounding this life rather than the narrative itself. I felt this very strongly after Drayz's verses as he, just as in the prequel, out-fucking-shines his partner. Hands down, the best song on the album and my favorite Das EFX song. Ever!

WONTU
I can't imagine anything that can follow up the previous track, but this song isn't really that much of a letdown. By now you'll be used to how Solid Scheme produce their beats. By my count, this is the third time they've sample Biz Markie in their career, so far. The rhymes are a much better showing in punchlines than what we were used to hearing on the album, save for a few exceptions. Overall, this dope track went as high as it can. Moving the fuck along...

KRAZY WIT DA BOOKS
The first thing that caught me about this beat is how Drayz's delivery scheme involves him shouting. The poor guy's vocal chords must be reduced to shit, these days, right? No? He's still performing? He recently dropped a friggin' solo album?! Fuuuuck. The lyrics are a continuation of the winning form of the previous track. Some of these lines, like the Popeye reference, are flat-out hilarious. The beat uses a very fitting DMC sample from one of my favourite Run-DMC songs, "Ooh, Whatcha Gonna Do".

IT'Z LIK DAT
Solid Scheme's final contribution is their only fuck-up on the album. The beat is so minimalistic you feel like you're being suffocated. It does, however, succeed in finally subduing Drayz's delivery, which results in his lyrics sounding more direct and confrontational. Not Skoob's delivery, though: that fucker’s pitch has been a lost ever since the start of Straight Up Sewaside. The “Kaught In Da Ak” single contains a remix by Solid Scheme that uses a much better beat, resulting in a much better product.

HOST WIT DA MOST (RAPPAZ REMIX)
Just as the title fucking reads. The remix provides us with the lone Das EFX production. They don't change the lyrics, though, just the delivery of said lyrics. But the beat is just too disjointed for me to recommend this track. And we're done.

FINAL THOUGHTS: The fact that Straight Up Sewaside didn't sell shit points to only one factor: Das EFX's decision to discard their “sewage” gimmick was a fucking bad move, especially when you release your album just one year after you made your debut in this game. Although maybe Parish lost his knack for executive production after his breakup with Erick. You might also note that the pop culture references were cut down to a bare minimum. In any case, the odds were stacked too high against this album succeeding, resulting in its commercial failure. However, that made Straight Up Sewaside a more precise listen, thereby adding more sting to the punchlines, which was a nice touch. Also, the inclusion of “Kaught In Da Ak” immediately made this album a better product, simply because of how awesome their storytelling is. So, in reality, this album was the proper step forward for Krazy Drayz and Skoob Effects, who needed to step the fuck out of their gimmick's shadow. Of course, they would fuck up the entire evolution process by returning and sticking to the “sewage” gimmick, starting with their very next album. But that's a story for a later time.

WORTH IT? This is where it gets confusing: If you were all about the “-iggedy” from the first album, you'd do well to shove "Rappaz" in your playlist and move the fuck along, because this is not the same group you blasted into your subconscious via your Walkman. However, if you're a fan of Das EFX's writing, then this is a much easier choice, since nothing has changed thematically. Their flows just got better, in my opinion. If you're new to Das EFX and wanted to start here, you wouldn't be missing much of what made them great. Except for "Looseys". That song was genius. Find this shit immediately if you're in the latter two categories. Just in case someone out there confuses all this talk, I'm advising fans of quality hip hop that this album is essential.

Large Professor - The LP (shelved 1996, official release July 1, 2009)

EDITOR'S NOTE: I thought since my hiatus took so friggin long, I'd come back with something different. So here it is, boy/girl (pick one). The first review I ever wrote. Shoutouts once again to my friend Max over at Hip Hop Isn't Dead. You were right, Max. I couldn't continue with the runs long enough. From now on, I'm reviewing whatever comes to mind.

"Queens, represent. Buy the album when I drop it." - Large Professor, from A Tribe Called Quest's “Keep It Rollin'”

William Paul Mitchell, also known as Large Professor, Main Source mastermind & bass extraordinaire, hereinafter referred to as just "LP", has received much critical love for many things in the early 1990's, but most people seem to know him for throwing rappers like Nas and Akinyele some scraps of his spotlight. One of those two names didn't invest in that scrap properly, but I'm not here to point fingers (hint: it wasn't Nas).

Now, lame attempt at humor aside, I've been chomping through my jaw to hear more from this beatsmith who brought the world my favorite Illmatic songs, "It Ain't Hard to Tell" and "Halftime" (I did say my favorites, right?), so I sought him out. I checked the man's discography and something didn't look right. LP is a genius, so how come after producing Akinyele's debut Vagina Diner and his now-legendary plea above, he drops zilch for nearly a decade?

This caused me to ignore my love for the guy's music and immerse myself elsewhere in my hip hop journey, at least until I came across an interesting piece of info. LP was supposed to drop something in 1996, but the Geffen higher-ups deemed that his work sounded too "dated" and shelved his shit after "promoting" only two songs. That makes me want to strangle my dog, so imagine how LP must have felt. (I've actually never had and don't plan on getting a dog. I hate pets, you see.)

Fast forward six years, when LP released what ended up being his actual debut album, 1st Class. Queens didn't represent, and neither did I. Why should I? The man, while still fairly dope, sounded nothing like the Main Source powerhouse I heard before, which led me to believe he had fallen off. However, some of the copies of 1st Class came with an additional disc. Little did people know that this CD was actually Large Professor's lost first attempt at a debut, The LP. But I still didn't represent. I was one lazy bum at the time.

Then, one day I read on the Internet that The LP was produced in 1996. I looked further into it and it turns out LP finally did manage to release The LP...in 2009, a year after his second album, the aptly-titled Main Source. It didn't have the same tracklisting, and it included a few bonus goodies that weren't readily available in 1996, but still.

I deliberately wrote this long-ass intro to emphasize that "this man went through a lot of shit to release an album" is hip hop's understatement of the century. But is The LP a classic? You will find out. That's why you're still reading.

INTRO
Clearly recorded in a much earlier time, LP tells you in between scratches of “Yo, Professor what's up?” that this is, in fact, his solo debut, and "whoever disagree is taken out like trash". Not as weak as it seems.

THAT BULLSHIT
Now that's more like it! LP launches into an impressive tirade against violence in the ghetto. Is it me, or is the man obsessed with shouting out his song titles (among other useless crap) as a chorus? Also, did LP really throw a shot towards his former Main Source bandmates? Anyway, the second verse is the highlight. The sample kind of got on my nerves, though, since it distracted me from the actual music. All in all, pretty dope!

HUNGRY
Extra P provides himself with a straight-up mean instrumental and proceeds to rip it to shreds. Yes! No chorus! Until the last minute, anyway, where he just, for lack of a better word, stops, then rolls out a long-ass (and annoying) outro for the song. Almost ruined the track for me. Ah who am I kidding? This was another dope cut!

I JUSWANNA CHILL
My favorite song on the album (and the album's second of two singles). The hook's catchy, too: this will be the only time on this album that happens. I don't give a fuck about the title's spelling issues: if anyone's gonna making a song about success in the music industry, this is how to do it. The end of the track leads into...

FUNKY 2 LISTEN 2
Yet another unorthodox beat by Extra P, but this time he doesn't fuck it up. Lyrically, LP is kind of underrated in my opinion, “underrated” as in “this song, by itself, owns the entire ymcmb catalog" (I'm using small letters because it's my review and I'm kind of a prick). This really was enjoyable. Also, no chorus!

MAD SCIENTIST
Starts with a freestyle over Busta Rhymes' Woo Hah beat, where Extra P spits a few kinda meh bars and shouts "Mad Scientist!". Before anyone can bitch, the beat switches up and we're greeted with The LP's awesome lead single, preserved in all of its glory. I love that laugh during the chorus. Even when censored, this song is almost perfect...until LP repeats his first verse as the third verse. And yet I still enjoyed this immensely. Seriously, though, he needs to stop with this lame-ass hook routine. It's getting annoying.

HARD
The song starts with a smooth, classic LP beat, and switches to an energetic instrumental. The bass is the highlight of the beat as LP really turns his flow into high gear. Nice! Pity that he never could write dope hooks. His gem game is as sharp as always, though. Four for four, so far.

ONE PLUS ONE (FEAT. NAS)
Extra P brings to the booth his former weed carrier-turned-rap messiah, who was smack dab in that sweet two-year spot where he could do no wrong in the eyes of everyone, not just his Stans, as he spits an immortal verse. Then before LP starts, Nas tries his damnedest to ruin the mood by spinning off into one of his tangents. Is he fucking yodeling here?! Which just makes him seem desperate for attention: surely he must have laced his weed by following one of the RZA's weird “honey dip” rituals. LP snaps out of Diddy mode and switches the overall feel mid-verse, leaving us with an equally decent gem of a verse himself. An excellent song.

THE LP (FOR MY PEOPLE)
This song is exactly why I hereby declare Extra P used to be a seriously underrated emcee, as we all know he's a wizard at beats. No, really: wrap your head around this: "Lots of knowledge cause this world is my college / where I teach and preach your whole contract, jack". Nice! Even with the meh hook. (I'm saying this a lot, aren't I? There still more to come, too.)

DANCIN' GIRL (FEAT. LEN X'S TEN)
The obligatory song for the ladies. Even with the subject matter, Large Professor comes off as quite respectful. Not to mention he provides a very addictive beat. The only flaw on here is the eye-gougingly irritating chorus, crooner and all. Probably why we never hear from Len X's Ten again.

LARGE PRO: VERBS
The original album intro (on the first version of The LP), now thrown in at the halfway point as a "midtro". This beat fucking knocks. Why didn't you just stick with the original sequencing?

HAVIN' FUN
A track about, well, you can guess. I don't care if the hook is a Treacherous Three tribute, it still sucks much more than his usual shitty hook standards: LP's rhymes are still decent, but this song is ruined for me. To top it off, it even ends with a section of the earlier For My People. WTF?

SPACEY (FEAT. CEE LOWE & VANDEMATOR)
The only song on the project not produced by Large Professor, but by Toney Rome. Even with the old-school, almost-decent beat & a good verse from LP, the guests and the (gasp!) hook turn this song into a dud on arrival (See what I did there?).

AMAMAN
Weird title aside, this song is the first of four 2009 additions to The LP. He channels Pete Rock into his beatmaking and comes off bombastically good. Lyrically, you can hear Extra P trying to match his former self's ability to rhyme, with acceptable results. The end of the song provides us with an earlier take on the same track, and although brief, you'll notice the upsurge in lyrical quality.

QUEENS LOUNGE
LP seems to have rediscovered his ability to write shitty choruses. Otherwise, this party song is just sublime.

BOWNE
If anyone is a sucker for nostalgia, this beat would eat you alive. And yes, I'm one of those. LP reflects on younger times, and does pretty damn good.

BIG WILLIE
The best of the four new additions. LP uses his final song briefly transforming into a one-man Gang Starr during this street tale. I approve of this shit.

OUTRO
Similar to the intro, but to me, LP is a much better emcee when he's introspective and not talking shit, so I liked this a bit more.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Enough with the sweet talk. The LP is not perfect. Large Professor has an unsettling tendency to write abhorrent hooks, and he sometimes has delivery problems when he's spitting. Still, I would consider The LP a classic album, right up there with Main Source's Breaking Atoms (which, might I add, shared those same flaws). If bad hooks put you off, steer clear from LP's entire body of work. Otherwise, you'll enjoy this album for what it is, a genius LP by LP. Clearly, I was wrong in presuming he fell off. (In recognizing so, I also had room to appreciate 1st Class so there's that.) I suggest listening to the album using its original tracklisting, though: it'll make much more sense.

WORTH IT? If you don't mind hooks, you should acquire this shit. Invest in your love for hip hop, dammit. Everyone else should listen to it at least once, just so you can appreciate the man's musical genius. Minus "Spacey", of course: that shit should be banished to the netherworld of pretentious artistry.

TRACKS TO TRACK DOWN:

RAP PROFESSIONAL

Produced by underground mixtape stalwart J-Love, apparently, as LP talks his shit over a beat that, while competent, sounds like it's trying too hard to be dramatic. Also, you see the title of the track. You already know LP's pulling the hook from It Ain't Hard To Tell. Oh well, I still liked the overall product.

COOL

The b-side to Rap Professional, once again produced by J-Love in a much better showing. LP lets loose over a smooth jazz loop primed and ready for introspection mixed with a little shittalking. And believe me, LP is much more adept at doing this than what's apparent from first glance.

THE RAP WORLD (FEATURING PETE ROCK)

Off the High School High OST, LP & PR concoct a rap duet that's absolutely timeless, while apparently producing it together utilizing another Nautilus loop. Pete does his best, but it's clear as crystal here that an in-the-zone LP is quite formidable, as he stakes his dominance over the track by batting cleanup. And we're done.

For more Extra P, come get some.