Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready To Die (September 13, 1994)

You knew I was going here, didn't you?

In 1993, a fucking jackass by the name of Sean John Combs, whom I've established in the previous post to henceforth be known as Comby on this here blog, met up with the three figures that contributed the most to his success: Osten Harvey Jr., Christopher Wallace & Craig Mack. And before any of you corporate assholes reading this over at that sewage disposal shoot called Bad Boy Entertainment get your panties in a bunch, I'm sure you lead very difficult jobs. But regarding the music business, all a fan's going to care about is the actual end product that reaches him/her: the music. Anyone who has a problem with that: If you'd please proceed to the nearest toilet and heartily drink its contents. You'll feel much better.

During that pivotal year, two of those three people struck up an undeniable chemistry that would provide both of them with a solid ground for launching into the stratosphere of timeless hip hop. Of course I'm talking about Easy Mo Bee & The Notorious B.I.G. Said relationship gave Comby's Bad Boy Records their first song ever. Oh and what a song it was. Party And Bullshit established Biggie's growing reputation as an MC to be reckoned with, being his first ever professional solo outing, while adding to Easy Mo Bee's already-impressive productions list, joining songs by legends such as Big Daddy Kane & The Genius (famously re-invented as Wu-Tang co-founder GZA). However, Mo Bee detoured from working with Biggie for a short period when he headed into the lab with Craig Mack. I'm not sure what Osten was on at that time because if people thought he was good on Kane's Looks Like A Job For..., boy were they in for something.

His production dramatically got better. Much better. Osten & Mack's final collaboration during those sessions, Flava In Ya Ear, became the hit of the season in 1994, ensuring Craig Mack's name would be remembered on blogs written 21 years later. Mack's following album, Project: Funk Da World, included many similar examples and was considered a heavily underrated classic, even on blogs written 21 years later. This, of course, was to the enormous chagrin of Comby, who had no part in this magical experience besides introducing these two to each other and shopping the magical single around. So, in now-typical Comby fashion, he blackballs his own artist's album, despite the shit selling five hundred thousand copies, while redirecting his filthy money-whoring vision towards his other MC, whom with he would ensure Mack's debut would be all but forgotten.

Now, B.I.G. was continuing his grind in the industry, becoming somewhat of a cameo fixture, appearing on songs like Heavy D's A Bunch Of N****s, for example. Comby thought it was time BIG and Mo Bee got back to making BIG's album. And, this time, Comby made sure he was there every step of the way, looking for any chance to take credit, whether he deserved said credit or not. Not that this stopped Osten & BIG from making some very smart moves to ensure this album's position to be timeless: Mo Bee & BIG invited DJ fucking Premier and Lord fucking Finesse to contribute to the album, while handpicking some of Comby's suggested producers to cook up some worthy additions from their part as well.

Obviously, all involved succeeded in making an impact, as Ready To Die, Bad Boy's first official album, sold a jillionl records in the United States alone and is remembered years later as a landmark in hip hop history. Does it, however, earn all that publicity and hype?

INTRO
Comby's filthy hands are all over this. UGH!

THINGS DONE CHANGED
Darnell Scott, kudos, man. I know this is your lone production ever, but goddamn is it a good one. Biggie wastes no time in submerging himself into the instrumental, built meticulously around various exquisite Main Ingredient samples along with distinct Biz Markie & Dr. Dre vocal excerpts, launching into the type of introspective, socio-political portrait that only an MC of his caliber can paint. And, trust me: there are a lot of those around. Anyways, a fine song, indeed.

GIMME THE LOOT
Easy Mo Bee demonstrates his post-Craig Mack sound on a BIG track for the first time. The results are, of course, glorious. Biggie describes the life of a duo of stick-up criminals, one of them being a juvie, with both roles convincingly played by our host. The reason I consider this a highlight of BIG's entire career is because by writing the second crimy a little kid, he simultaneously gave this tale a sad reality-check. For unfortunately, we live more than 20 years after this album's release and to this day, kids are falling into the life of crime so needlessly because of their natural inability to look at the bigger picture at that stage of their lives. A brilliant follow-up.

MACHINE GUN FUNK
Easy Mo Bee returns to his top-notch sampling ways by taking a single second from a Black Heat record and flipping it multiple ways to give us the magnificent final result. Mr. Wallace reverts to punchline mode beautifully as he sprinkles disses towards the rap competition who were most definitely listening. Apparently this was the song Biggie wanted for the first single, and while I'll admit Juicy was a better business choice, artistically this fit BIG's aesthetic at the time so much more. Especially considering the fact that this could be a Party & Bullshit sequel of sorts. In any case, by the end of this song you will be jumping around your 4x4 bedroom bellowing the hook right the fuck along with Mr. Funke’s ingeniously sampled words. Another Mo Bee smash.

WARNING
Osten returns, locked and loaded with a very famous Isaac Hayes sample that he loops to hypnotize you into dancing to this thuggery tale of violence that's supposed to act as a metaphor for Chris' success in the rap game. The execution by both MC and producer is dope and yet, his conversation-with-himself idea was done much better in Gimme The Loot. That and the hook is ass. And finally, the skit at the end of the shit is so fucking worthless that it ends a great song on a damn whimper. And making matters worse: Comby acts as both dumbass would-be assailants in said skit. He just had to force himself in, didn't he? I still like most of the song, though. Three outta three for Mo Bee, so far.

READY TO DIE
Let's get this song's flaws outta the way: Comby, Comby & fucking Comby. Now, we start the praise by saying straight out the gate that this is BIG's best solo performance on this album, hands fucking down. This is the artistic & lyrical culmination of everything that hip hop considers great about the late legend. The punchlines, the narrative, the metaphors, the introspection. Nowhere are all these traits crystalized better than this song right here. Might I add that this is also Easy Mo Bee's best contribution to this album. Osten whips up a Willie Hutch sample and makes it sound like a slice of fucking Heaven on Earth. This song definitely ranks as one of the absolute best title tracks of all goddamn time. This would've been my choice to be the first single of this album. Fuck you for even coming near this track, Comby.

ONE MORE CHANCE
Speak of the devil. Comby just had to follow that high point with one of the worst songs on the entire fucking album. Might I add that Mr. Carlton Thompson from Comby's jolly bag of Hitmen seems to me like he couldn’t say no to Comby at this period in his production life. Good thing he shoqed the world what he can really do with Nas' One Mic, huh? Anyways, Nevertheless, him & The Bluez Brothers get major props for this magnificent beat. I will, however, gladly rob Comby of any credit he got in the making of this song's beat, though. He never has and never will be a proper producer because he consistently refuses to pay his dues as a beatmaker. All this, and we haven't got to the true reason I hate this track. Yes, it's the fucking misogyny present in this sex rap. Not that I am OK with it, but I would normally turn a begrudgingly blind eye  to it if the misogyny was one or two lines on a song, but when it's the entire fucking thing? That fucking pisses me off to no end. I honestly cannot fathom how girls can dance to songs that explicitly degrade the very nature of being a woman. And I truly believe that as a man: you must be extremely insecure if you have to brag about your sexual prowess on a massively-distributed commercial release. Fuck Comby for convincing Biggie that this was a good idea.

FUCK ME (INTERLUDE)
Do you really want me to say something else after that last song? Fuck it I will: It's no wonder Lil' Miss Kimberly Jones is viewed as a slut by the industry, given that this was her first recorded performance. Audio porn? Really, Comby? How is this a good look for your artist? How is it even consistent with the nature of this album?!

THE WHAT (FEATURING METHOD MAN)
Thank GOD Osten's back. This time, he brings a friend to help Biggie erase the horseshit we just listened to from our memories. Keep in mind that when this album dropped, the Wu movement was steadily picking up steam in the game and a very big part of that was Method Man's eponymous single. Add that to the fact that they were gearing up for his solo debut that would drop two months later. So, both rappers needed each other in this, and they needed this to work. Well, I am here 21 years later to tell you it indeed has, and in the best way imaginable. BIG and Mef, who's a punchline genius, bounce off each other like it's second nature. And it's fitting that Easy Mo Bee should oversee the proceedings with an awesome Leroy Hutson loop. A huge step back in the right direction.

JUICY
This song only adds to my infuriation with Mr. Comby Combs. For it is a proven fact that he and Trackmasters' Poke stole this beat composition outright from legendary producer Pete Rock. I mean, what a way to repay an old friend. Comby and Pete were originally crewmates under Heavy D RIP, where Pete Rock was already cutting his teeth as a renowned producer while Comby was a fucking roadie. Pete obviously trusted the little snake enough to play him some of his beats, not knowing what Comby would do afterwards, which was commission Poke to straight up jack the making of the beat and releasing it under his own name. A fact that Comby conveniently avoided to touch upon in the 2009 Notorious movie. Do any of you out there even know how many people think Comby's some sort of superproducer because of those actions? For that, this song shall always be tainted to me. It doesn't matter that Biggie spits some of his most uplifting lyrics ever on this song. That only adds to the lie, in my eyes. Truly a shame, because evidently Pete Rock's beat fit BIG's lyrics like a fucking glove. Hell, I'm sure Pete would've retooled it to be at least The World Is Yours-level of classic. The hook is, once again, ass by the way, and I'm fully aware that it might've still been included had Pete Rock produced this shit.

EVERYDAY STRUGGLE
The Bluez Brothers build this track around a Dave Grusin loop for dolo, mostly unencumbered by Comby's pesky bullshit, and the track is all the better for it. I didn't say Comby didn't force his way into this track, though, as his adlibs miraculously find their way into the song. BIG's performance, however, negates whatever hopes Comby had of ruining the song and elevates the shit into a contemporary hip hop classic. The imagery displayed by our host clearly demonstrates why he achieved legendary status.

ME & MY BITCH
Run! Here come the jolly bag of Hitmen! Well, actually Comby dragged Chucky along with him into the Bluez Brothers session, who were in the midst of making a fairly decent beat. Comby slithers into the booth where Biggie was writing his lyrics. Comby convinces Biggie that the album didn't have enough lady material. 'It doesn't matter if you're dissing the shit out of them, you have to mention the ladies, Big. That's how we get you a wider audience, Big.' Big, evidently, rolled with the idea, and the result was what could've happened to Method Man's All I Need had he not written the lyrics without ever intending to release them commercially. Add in Comby's random interludes with a random bitch, and what we're left with is an utter abomination. Not as bad as One More Chance, but an abomination nonetheless. Thank God I skip this shit or I would be earless right now.

BIG POPPA
A G-Funk beat. Chucky Thompson's first production with Comby monitoring each and every facet of its making, including the lyrics, is a fucking G-Funk beat. So, of course this was a hit. It doesn't matter that this mere fact stood, in each and every way possible, against the direction most of this album is taking. And I haven't even started talking about the fucking lyrics yet. I don't care if each and every single one of Comby's artificial clones come and ad-lib me to death, I don't believe for a second that the player image was Biggie's idea nor that it suited him and I don't care how much pussy he got as a result of that. By the way, nobody gets to make the arguments that 'hey, it's called being artistically multi-faceted' or 'He's just exploring different sides of himself', because we all know that it's the oldest copout in the book and that it's a goddamn marketing ploy. Hell, if the fucking Grammys took notice, then the ploy very well succeeded. And just so we're clear, the Grammys is the worst dishonor this song could receive, in every possible meaning. To top it all off, BIG references Craig Mack in a way that could be interpreted as a diss. I mean, as if he would need additional beef problems three years later. For he just laid the foundation that would lead to Comby pushing him towards dissing his former labelmate at a later time when beef seemed to jump at him at every turn. Fuck this piece of shit.

RESPECT (FEATURING DIANA KING)
Not that Poke's beat is bad or anything, but fuck me if the One More Chance beat didn't fit here. A KC & the Sunshine Band sample looped simplistically yet effectively by Poke & Tone, the latter whom hates BIG's patois-spewing cohost and the entire song now, lays the groundwork for Mr. Wallace to give us an autobiography on wax out of the top shelf. That's all I've got, and frankly, that's all you really need. Moving along.

FRIEND OF MINE
So, the skit at the beginning, right? Need I say more? Osten, you truly disappoint me. How did you find yourself producing this? How did you even think this was a good idea? Wait a minute. It was Comby, wasn't it? Anybody not liking my review of this song so far: Please administer the action exhibited in the aforementioned skit to your damn self. I don't care if it's physically impossible to some of you.

UNBELIEVABLE
I take particular glee in stating that this song had absolutely zilch to do with Comby Combs. In fact, according to DJ Premier, this song was a last-minute addition to the album, with a simple phone call from BIG, $5000 in hand, to Primo begging him to make this record. That's all it took for this punchline classic to come to existence. Primo hides a brilliant Quincy Jones sample in the song's folds and surrounds it expertly in preparation for Biggie to spit some of his best punchlines to date. This track alone effectively washed away all of Comby's prior horseshit.

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
Lord Finesse closes off the album with its most harrowing song bar none building the beat around a Miles Davis classic. This shit will give you nightmares, guaranteed, if you listen to it enough. He also accomplishes the impossible by reigning in Comby enough to give his lone worthwhile contribution to the album, ad-libbing as BIG's frightened friend who's listening to thoughts that very much show just how alone the late MC really felt at the time. Speaking of which, the lyrics presented here were clearly written by a Chris Wallace who was at a very dark stage in his young life, lashing out at everyone around him, regardless of their emotional relevance to him in a singular verse. No hooks, no structure. Just pure venom. The influence of Mind Playing Tricks On Me by the Geto Boys on BIG shines through in the best possible way. This song might be disturbing to some and yet I feel it's the perfect ending to this album. I'll explain why below.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Think back for a moment: The album's name is Ready To Die, the imagery describing death and fatal situations & circumstances are available in spades, and the only times you hear any sign of consistency is in themes of darkness. No matter how you look at it, this album was an act of therapy. Whether it's because Biggie really lived that terrible early life or because he was scarred by what was happening around him when he was growing up. Or both. However, Biggie did the smart thing and committed those thoughts to paper, then to wax.

Now, if only Comby let the young man do what he wanted on the lyrical tip without forcing the playboy image upon him. I can only imagine the heights this album would rise up to. Instead, he has him writing player and sex lyrics that heavily detract from this album's flowing narrative under the guise of 'clever marketing'.  Of course, that's not the only venue Comby tried to ruin. The Juicy debacle and Comby's insistence to suck the radio's cock with it's every whim guiding his musical suggestions threaten to throw this album into the sea of utter garbage songs.

Thank God, his bullshit only comes to fruition on roughly a quarter of this album. The rest is pure value, with Easy Mo Bee leading the herd of awesome producers into greatness. Any remaining issues I might have with this album have already been stated in my final thoughts here.

And for the first & last time: I refuse to review Who Shot Ya.

Move along, now.

WORTH IT? You bet your fucking ass. I'm not blinded by bias like many of this art form's fans. Or else, I would've cursed this album into oblivion for its mere association with Mr. Comby Combs. The times when this shit's good, it's really good. And vice-versa, unfortunately. Nevertheless, go get this shit now.

Easy Mo Bee did produce other shit, and here's the proof.

1 comment:

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